Chapter 3

Alder leaped over the metal barrier, crunching his fist into the face of the asshole who’d insulted Danica. He’d been worried about Brave losing it when Valor was mentioned, but now all he cared about was shutting this fucker up. He’d gone too far. Then further.

Enough was enough.

A punch caught him in the mouth as his wrists were restrained. A shoulder hit his gut. He was lifted over the barrier. Another fist caught him in the eye before he was jerked out of reach.

Growling, he struggled against the grip on his arms.

“Alder!” Jesse pinned him against the stage. His big hand framed Alder’s jaw. “Cool it!”

“You heard what he said!”

“Words! Nothing but the words of one drunk fucker who’s getting dragged out as we speak.” Jesse leaned against him, breathing hard. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again.” His eyes widened as he brought a hand to Alder’s lips. “Damn it, you’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine.” The lights glared on. Alder ground his teeth. Shit, were they shutting everything down? “We have to keep going! Jesse—”

“I know.” Jesse fisted his hand in Alder’s hair, fixing him with a hard stare. “They haven’t told anyone to leave yet. Get on stage. Talk to Brave.”

“What about Danica?” She’d heard what the man said. Sure, she was tough, but that didn’t make it okay.

“Malakai kept her from jumping in the crowd after you. She’s fine.” Jesse gave his hair another tug. “Are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jesse put a hand on his chest, over the scar where he’d been stabbed. The wound had healed well, though there was some nerve damage. His doctors weren’t worried.

But Jesse still was.

“Jesse, I love you, but you have to stop. I’m good. An ugly scar is all I have left of that night.” He cupped Jesse’s cheek when his man didn’t look convinced. “Trust me. I’m fine!”

“Are you?” Jesse’s brow creased. “Prove it. Sleep with me tonight.”

“And leave Danica alone?” Alder bit into his cheek at Jesse’s confused frown. The three of them had a strong relationship—anything less wouldn’t survive the crazy schedule or the long tours—but in bunks that were a tight fit for two people, someone always ended up alone.

Since Danica didn’t take up much space, sharing with her made the most sense. And Jesse liked snuggling more than he’d admit. Alder used to tease them that he wanted his turn, but not lately. Even at home, he didn’t spend much time in the bed they’d bought to accommodate them all.

He didn’t sleep much and he didn’t sleep well.

Maybe that was the issue Jesse was trying to tackle.

“What’s the right answer?” Jesse pulled away and sighed. “Sure, me and her still have our weird moments, but at night we cuddle like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Am I supposed to focus on that? Am I a bad boyfriend if I’m not thinking about her right now?”

A ‘Yes’ would shut down the conversation, because Danica was Jesse’s first girlfriend and he still wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing. He was bisexual, like Alder, but leaned toward men. His relationship with Danica meant exploring something new. Lust was easy. Jesse was a passionate man and there was no doubt he desired Danica.

But romance was a different ball game. Jesse was still learning and acted like Alder was some kind of authority on the subject.

Using that against him would be a dick move.

“You’re not a bad boyfriend.” Alder glanced up at the stage where Brave was speaking to the venue’s head of security. The crowd was grumbling, making conversation difficult. He turned back to Jesse and gave him a quick smile. “We’ll talk later. Let me see if I can help Brave salvage the show.”

“Good luck.” Jesse stepped back, and Alder could feel him watching as he climbed back on stage.

Brave glanced over, his eyes hard. “You look like shit.”

My loving brother. Alder swiped his hand over his bottom lip, biting back a wince at the dull throb of pain. “It’s nothing. What’s the verdict?”

“We can finish the set.” Brave nodded to the security guard. “Tell him you won’t jump offstage again.”

The beefy guy smirked and shook his head. “Don’t bother. I know your type. Do what the fuck you want, but the owner will clear this place out if there’s any more trouble.”

“Works for me.” Alder stood by Brave as the guard left the stage. Rolling his shoulders, he eyed his brother to gauge his mood. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Brave’s jaw ticked. “I didn’t want you out here at all, but you can handle yourself, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Brave inhaled roughly. “Guess that’s it then. You wanna tell the fans the good news?”

“Sure.” Alder reached for the mic as the overhead lights went out, leaving only the spotlights to see by. He pressed his tongue into his bottom lip. “You ain’t pissed?”

“Does it matter?” Brave’s tone was cold. Which Alder was used to, so he simply shrugged.

Things were better between them since he’d been attacked on stage, but they still weren’t close. The difference was, Brave wasn’t to blame.

He’d been protective. Asked Alder all the time how he was doing, if he wanted to hang out or even just talk. And every time, Alder brushed him off.

Not intentionally. Part of him wanted to accept the effort his brother made, but the concern reminded him of what had happened and he wanted to fucking forget it. He needed people to stop treating him like he was fucking fragile. Like there was something wrong with him.

How messed up was it that he knew exactly what was off between him and Brave, but he couldn’t fix it?

The words were on the tip of his tongue. His lips parted, but Brave had already retreated, leaving him to the crowd.

Rubbing his chin, he forced a smile and spoke into the mic. “So…that was fucked up, huh?”

Nervous laughter spread through the crowd. They watched him expectantly.

Brave would probably know exactly how to get them back on track. He worked the mic like a fucking master. Alder was perfectly happy in the background, but he was the one who’d screwed up.

He cleared his throat. “Will you all forgive me if I promise not to punch anyone else?”

More laughter, like a massive exhale this time, relieving all the tension from the room.

“We love you, Alder!” A girl screamed.

“I’d pay to see you punch someone else!” A guy shouted.

Then there were more voices, coming all at once, some praising him for attacking the guy, others requesting different songs.

He focused on the later.

“You want more?” He let his tone drop and reached out, confidence building as his guitar was placed in his hand. “Tell me how much you want it!”

Howls, whistles, cheers and more screams. Behind him, Malakai and Connor began the chords to S.L.U.T.

Which drove the fans wild.

Tate pounded out the beat and Danica skipped up to Alder, licking the side of his face before snatching the mic.

“He’s been a bad, bad boy.” She nudged him back to his own spot on stage. “Should I punish him?”

The crowd loved that idea. Danica handed Brave the mic, grinding against him and shooting Alder a saucy look as Brave began to sing. Playing along, Brave tangled a hand in her hair, thrusting his hips at her suggestively.

As the song continued, Danica moved from Brave to Malakai, slinking close to Alder seconds later, only to slip out of reach and dance over to Connor. While she only flirted lightly with Alder, the rest of the guys got her full attention. Which drove him nuts, but got the crowd engaged.

They finished the next two songs, along with an encore, without issue. Heading to the bus, he looped his arm around Tate’s neck, ready to celebrate a damn good performance.

Ducking his head to slip out of reach, Tate glared at him. “Fuck off.”

Alder stopped short, staring after the drummer as the kid sprinted for the bus. Malakai followed him in without a word. Connor took off with one of the opening bands.

Footsteps approached him and he stiffened as his brother stopped to his side.

“Give them time, they’ll get over it.” Brave’s tone was stiff. Detached. Almost as though he expected any comfort he offered to be rejected.

All Alder wanted was to know what the hell was going on. “This isn’t the first time one of us has gotten into it with a fan.”

“True. But this is different.”

“Because they don’t think I’m ready? Because they think—”

“No.” Brave put a hand on his shoulder. “They believe you’re ready.”

So what’s the fucking problem? “I don’t get it.”

“They’re not ready, Alder.” Brave sighed and let his hand fall to his side. “You scared them.”

Shit. Hunching his shoulders, he brought one hand up to rub the tense spot between his brows. Brave having to remind him he wasn’t the only one scarred by that night was pretty messed up. Alder hadn’t given a thought to what the others must be going through. He needed to prove to himself, to everyone, that he was back to normal.

Only he wasn’t. And neither was anyone else.

“How do I fix this?”

Brave chuckled. “You seriously asking me?”

“I don’t see anyone else here.” Alder ground his teeth. A few words and he’d left himself vulnerable to his brother. Let the man know that he still cared about his opinion when he shouldn’t. “Never mind.”

“All right, stop.” Brave grabbed his arm before he could walk away and towed him toward the front of the bus, away from the watchful eyes of the roadies who’d begun carting out all their equipment. “I can’t tell you how to make things better with the guys. Maybe talk to them. Surprise them with beer and bacon. Who fucking knows?” Releasing his arm, Brave took a step back and leaned against the hood of the bus. “This is our band. Our family. We started this together, Alder.”

“I know that.”

“Do you?” Brave shook his head. “We’re going places, which is fucking awesome. But we’ve got to be solid.”

“Is it my fault we aren’t?”

Lips parted, Brave stared at him. Then dropped his gaze. “No.”

This was getting them nowhere. Things had been so easy when he almost died. Now it was like they were rebuilding everything from scratch. The band. His relationship with his brother.

And maybe that’s what Brave was getting at. Their relationship had always put a strain on the band. Maybe, if the guys saw they were doing better, the rest would fall into place.

If only he could figure out how to take that first step.

“Brave, I…” He swallowed hard. Tipped his head back to stare up at the black sky, patchy with gray clouds and a few dim stars. “You laugh at me and I’m gonna hit you.”

“I won’t laugh.”

Alder nodded. “I want my brother back.”

Sighing, Brave scuffed his boots in the dirt. “You hardly knew him, kid. He might have eventually straightened up and been a good man, but—”

“I’m not talking about Valor.” Alder looked at Brave. Really looked at him for the first time in a while. The man was worn down. Fucking tired.

Brave had watched one brother die, almost lost another, and had been ditched by their parents. He’d assumed Valor was the one Alder wanted because that’s how fucked up their family was.

“Remember when I was little and you used to pack my lunch for me?” Alder smiled at the memory. If he closed his eyes he could still picture Brave tossing him an apple before he left the house every morning. And he’d done so much more. “I was really young, but I think I remember you tucking me in at night too. Reading to me until I fell asleep.”

Lips curving at the edges, Brave inclined his head. “I read you Lord of The Rings and The Circle of Time. You got so bored you passed out.”

“I loved it, though. I tried to stay awake.”

“They weren’t the best books for a little kid.” Brave lifted his shoulders, staring off into the distance. “But I loved them. I wanted to share them with you.”

“I’d like to read them sometime. You got a bunch of books—you still got those?”

“I’ve got them all on my kindle. You can read them on your phone… I’ll hook you up on my account.” Brave shoved his hands in his pockets. “Uh…this is good, right? Progress?”

“Definitely progress.” Also kinda weird. Alder snorted. “Not sure this will cut it with the guys. You said bacon and beer?”

Brave chuckled. “Yeah. Though Tate will go for a blowjob if you’re up for it.”

“I’ll leave that to you.”

“Malakai would kill me.”

“And you like to live dangerously.” Not that he should encourage Brave to mess with their drummer, or piss off Malakai who guarded the kid like a momma bear, but for the first time in forever, he didn’t feel like his brother’s keeper. He didn’t have to make excuses for him. Didn’t have to watch his every word to keep the lead singer happy.

“Yeah, I do.” Brave let out a soft laugh. “And it’s my turn to stick my neck out. I owe you.”

“Not that again.” Alder groaned, wondering if it was fucked up to wish Brave could save his life so they’d be even. “I like you alive, big brother. I did what I did. Just drop it.”

Putting a hand on his shoulder, Brave inclined his head. “I’ll try.” He gave Alder’s shoulder a little squeeze. “But I love you, you stupid fucker. So I get to worry.”

Alder took a deep breath as his throat tightened. “Fine… We good?”

“Do I get a hug?”

Blinking at the other man, Alder tried to figure out if he was joking. Brave didn’t do hugs. “Who are you?”

With another stiff smile, Brave drew away and shrugged. “Forget it. You ready?”

Nodding, Alder turned to head into the bus. He stopped when he saw a young woman he didn’t know standing by the door with Reese and Sophie. While their manager and Danica’s agent were deep in conversation, the girl seemed to have her full attention on him and his brother.

He wasn’t sure how much she’d heard. Or why she’d care about any of it.

But she did.

And for some reason, she looked disappointed.

Which bothered him more than it should.