Chapter Two

Fitzgerald Everest sat at the mahogany bar in Shades, staring at his whiskey glass as the ice slowly melted into the amber liquid, turning his Four Roses into a watered-down waste. He shouldn’t be here. He should be at home, watching his wife finish dinner and getting ready for their evening of nonstop reruns. He should be drinking water or tea or even coffee, not whiskey. He should be doing all those things.

But he wasn’t.

Instead, he sat alone at the bar, like he had been every afternoon for the past couple of months, staring at a whiskey glass he had no real desire to empty, moping. Things continued to get worse, things he couldn’t even talk about to anyone, and he had no idea how to stem the tide that threatened to wash him away. How in the world could he rectify the madness that churned within him with the way his life had turned out? He had a great family, a well-paying job, a bright future. To anyone looking in, he had it all. But he knew differently. He lacked the one thing that every shifter longed for—his destined mate. The sad part was, he knew exactly who that was, and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it thanks to his father’s manipulations.

He twirled the glass in a small circle on the bar, watching as the whiskey made small waves inside the glass. He was stalling the inevitable, he knew, but he needed to screw up the courage to make it through another night, to face the fact that his life ceased to be his the moment he surrendered to his father’s wishes over a year ago, stopped being his the moment he got married. He sighed, giving his glass another twirl. Giving into his father set Fitz on a path away from the most important person in his world—his destined mate. The sad part was, he knew what he did when he gave in to his father’s demands, knew what—rather, who—he was giving up. His panther growled within him, sharing his own frustration. I know, boy. Trust me, I know.

He promised Kinsey he would make this right, somehow fulfill that mating call that had pulled between them since high school, and he meant it. He wanted to be with Kinsey, to grow old with her, to explore the world with her. The crux of the situation was that over the past year, he fell in love with Mandy, as well, something he hadn’t foreseen. One woman was his mate, the other his wife, and Fitzgerald Everest loved both of them. What the hell do I do with that?

“You know, I don’t mind you coming in here,” Drey Hawkins said as he leaned on the opposite side of the bar. “However, part of being a day drinker is that you actually drink.” He tilted his head to the side. “You’ve been coming in here for a couple of months looking like someone took you out back and beat the shit out of you. What’s going on?”

Fitz pressed his lips into a thin line as he gave a weak shrug of his shoulders. “Nothing I can go into,” he said, lifting the glass to his lips and making a show of taking a sip, a ridiculously small sip. The whiskey burned as it flowed down into his gut causing him to shiver slightly. He usually enjoyed a good whiskey, but his mood as of late soured even that simple pleasure.

Drey chuckled a bit as he shook his head. “Why order it if you don’t like it?”

“Why do people do anything?” Fitz asked with another shrug, not really in the mood for conversation.

“That’s a little too philosophical for this bartender,” Drey said. “You should wait until my father gets out of the back. He could talk to you for hours about that topic.”

Fitz sighed. “The whiskey’s fine; it’s me.” He then looked up at Drey, his brows pinched in earnestness. “Can I ask you a question? You’re good friends with Victor Sutherlin, right? How does he do it?”

“Do what?” Drey asked, leaning on his arms now as he watched Fitz ignore his drink. “Make furniture? Annoy the hell out of me? Get out of paying his bar tab?”

For the first time in what seemed like a long time, Fitz chuckled. “No, I’m sure he gets out of paying his bar tab because he annoys you.” He shook his head. “No, I mean go through each day when his destined mate left town years ago? It’s been what? Sixteen? Seventeen years now since Jerilynn Prescott left town? How come he hasn’t gone bonkers yet?”

Drey gave a small snort of laughter. “Who says he hasn’t?” He then shrugged. “You’ll have to ask him, but what I can tell you is that he throws his life into his work and his gorilla tribe. He keeps himself so busy, he doesn’t have time to dwell on Jerilynn.”

Fitz stared down into his glass. “He still loves her?”

“She’s his destined mate; what do you think?” Drey grabbed a bar towel from under the bar and pretended to wipe the wooden top.

“But he never fell in love with anyone else, even after almost two decades?” Fitz couldn’t imagine going that long without someone in his life. “Even knowing Jerilynn wasn’t coming back?”

“He fell in love with his work and his tribe,” Drey said. “He says that’s all he needs, no matter how many times we try to set him up on a blind date.”

Someone called for a drink, and Drey stepped away, wishing Fitz luck with his situation. Fitz didn’t know whether to thank him or feel as if he had been cursed. Glancing at his whiskey, he took a deep breath and downed the rest of it, which was actually most of it. He set the glass on the bar when he was finished, tossed a ten and a five beside it, and slid off his barstool. It was time to go home.

The drive home was uneventful, Fitz getting lost in the silence. He didn’t even turn on the radio, his thoughts making enough noise for the ride. His animal stirred restlessly within, like he paced, as it had been for the past couple of months being deprived of his mate. How would Fitz ever make this right and satisfy everyone in his life? There was no way Mandy didn’t know he struggled with something; she just didn’t know what. At least, he hoped she didn’t know. Would it matter if she did, however? Mandy loved him. She actually loved him. She knew him in high school, even knew he had a thing for Kinsey, but it didn’t matter. Mandy still possessed feelings for Fitz, and when her father approached her about the union, she was more than happy to oblige. Fitz wrapped his hand around the steering wheel as he sighed. At least, Mandy had feelings for him when they married. Fitz only did it because his father told him to do it. Pathetic. His entire life had been pathetic, and he didn’t see that changing anytime soon. Kinsey should be happy she hadn’t been stuck with him for the rest of her life.

Too much anxiety made Fitz restless with the energy that filled him. He suddenly needed to expend it, let the pent-up energy out before he got home where he couldn’t control it. As he neared Crystal Springs Park, he pulled in and drove around to the back to a dark corner far away from any late-night strollers. As soon as he parked, he slid out of the driver’s seat into the warm evening air. There was still enough daylight left as he quickly stripped out of his clothes, piling them on the driver’s seat, and shifted, his bones snapping and popping, his fingernails replaced with sharp claws as hands and feet shifted into huge paws, and the tawny fur of his panther slid out from under his skin.

As Fitz darted off into the thick woods surrounding the park, he shoved his troubled thoughts into the deep recesses of his mind. As he weaved around giant beech and pine trees, he felt the wind tugging at his fur and the crunch of the earth under his paws. The fading sunlight filtered through the branches overhead, casting dappled shadows along the ground as Fitz allowed his panther to roam. The natural scents of the Appalachian Mountains filled his senses as he heard smaller animals scurry out of his way and into their hiding spots, giving him a wide berth.

He paused on top of a small outcropping of stone, staring out at the surrounding landscape at the dips and valleys that formed the mountainside. He took another deep breath, savoring the aroma of the surrounding flora, breathing it all in until…

His eyes popped open as he swiveled his head to the east. Kinsey? She was there, in the distance underneath a shortleaf pine, staring at him. He stared back for a moment, but then his panther leaped off the flat outcropping, dropping to the dark earth and racing toward his mate.

He couldn’t believe she was here, in the same park as him, needing to get out and permit her panther to run just like him. If Fitz believed in signs, this would definitely be one.

He reached the spot where he saw her staring at him, but she wasn’t there. Her scent lingered, but she must have left the moment he darted off toward her. He felt the punch to his stomach at the realization that Kinsey didn’t want to see him. She could have waited for him but didn’t.

She left.

She just…left.

Fitz dipped his head, sniffing the ground once more as the pain squeezed at his heart. She just left. He moped his way back to his car, his energy suddenly depleted. He forced himself back into his clothing and slid back behind the steering wheel. It was time to go home. Kinsey made the same choice he made a year ago, and it wasn’t him.

As he entered his home, Mandy stood in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner. Fitz walked up behind her, shoving his sullenness to the side, and wrapped his arms around her waist, nuzzling into her neck. “Something smells delicious,” he said just before he kissed her neck. “And I’m not talking about just the dinner.” His cock stirred as he held her, which only added to his confusion at times. The situation would be so much easier if he hadn’t fallen in love with Mandy, but he craved her touch almost as much as Kinsey’s.

Mandy giggled as she pinched her cheek to her neck, keeping him from tickling her anymore. “And you smell like whiskey.” She bumped him back away from her with her ass. “Again.” She turned to face him, her shoulders slumped, hip out as she stood there, lips downturned. “That’s becoming a regular thing lately. Do you want to talk about it?”

He shrugged as he stepped back, turning and reaching for a highball glass. “Nothing to talk about really,” he said. “I went to Shades after a stressful day at work.” He turned to her, grinning as he filled the glass with ice. “A day with my father will do that to a person.” He ignored the look she gave him as he went to the wet bar to fill his glass with whiskey. “He’s been yelling all day about a contract not getting signed yet, and I don’t ever remember him asking for it before. On top of that, Old Man Hemingway is still putting the screws to dear old Dad because Lainie ran off, instead of marrying his son, even though that was almost a year ago.” He filled his glass and took a long swallow of his drink, licking his lips when he was finished as he took a deep breath. Holding the glass back out in front of him, he shook his head. “It’s just been crazy lately.”

Mandy slid the casserole into the oven and then turned to face Fitz, her face showing him she knew his nightly visits to Shades were about more than he let on. “I know you’re still struggling, Fitz. We went to school together, remember? I know who you crushed on back then. I’m not stupid. Or blind.” She walked over to him, placing her hand on his chest. “You can talk to me about everything. Anything. Even Kinsey Pickford.”

A pang of guilt twisted his gut as he gazed down into Mandy’s eyes. He didn’t deserve her, and she deserved far better than him. Their fathers had screwed up their lives, but really, they did it to themselves by giving in to their parents’ wishes. Now, they were all stuck—him and Mandy with each other and Kinsey and him without their destined mate, something his father didn’t even believe in. Nor did Mandy by the way she ignored his struggles. She didn’t comprehend how hard the mating call truly was.

Fitz slid his hand behind Mandy’s neck and into her hair. There was no way he could talk to her about the mating call he felt for Kinsey, no way he could tell her that his panther craved another woman. It wouldn’t be fair to Mandy. He leaned in, kissing her softly, her lips warm on his. When he pulled back, he made sure he smiled down at her. “I’m fine. Promise. Now, what’s for dinner? Smells delicious.”

Mandy gazed earnestly into his eyes, not fooled at all by his denial. Still, she smiled, choosing not to press the matter. “One of your favorites, hot dog casserole with chili.”

Now, he gave her a genuine smile. “Now, that is good news.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll go wash up and then fix us some wine.”

“Sounds good,” she said, but her voice held no joy, even though she smiled up at him.

He kissed her forehead again before turning and making his way to the master bathroom. He tried to force himself into a good mood for her sake, but his panther yearned for Kinsey, making Fitz miserable in the process. There wasn’t much he could do about it, however.

Standing in the bathroom, he gripped the edge of the sink as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. I have to change my mood for Mandy’s sake. She deserves better than what I’ve given her over the past couple of months. She deserves a husband who will dote on her, treat her like the wife she is, spoil her and take care of her. He stared even harder at his bloodshot reflection. She deserves someone far better than me. God, what have our fathers done to us?

He turned on the water, quickly scooping up fistfuls of the cold liquid and splashing it over his face. With a deep breath and water dripping from his pale face, he stared back at himself. I owe it to Mandy to make this right, to give her the family she desired when she married me. I can’t dwell on Kinsey anymore. I won’t dwell on Kinsey anymore. He sighed. She just left.

He pressed his lips into a thin line as determination filled him. He would give Mandy Everest everything she deserved and more starting tonight. He loved her, and she loved him. The time for past regrets was over. It was time now to focus on their future together.

He dried his face and hands and then went to join his wife in the kitchen and fix their wine.