Insecurities

Malia

My heart raced as I hurried back to the pack house, my mind filled with insecurities planted by Elder Zelda's words. I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease, fearing that Zade might still be in the room with his ex, Victoria. The thought of them together made my insecurities heighten, and I couldn't help but imagine the worst.

Does he still love her?

Does he think she'll make the perfect Luna for him?

As I reached the house, I ran upstairs to the guest room, my breath catching in my throat. To my surprise, the scene that greeted me was not what I had expected. There, in the room, I saw Zade sitting, while Victoria was lying on the bed and now in some new and neat pair of clothes, and she seemed to be in better spirits than when she was found. They were too caught up in their moment of laughter to notice my presence.

The way they laughed and talked felt like she hadn't gone missing at all. As if she has been here all this while.

Confusion and concern washed over me as I approached the duo. I made a small noise to announce my presence and they finally looked at me. Zade's face held a mix of relief and happiness, while Victoria seemed surprisingly lively from all the time they spent laughing and talking like old friends. I couldn't understand how she had suddenly healed enough to be in such good spirits.

With a knot in my stomach, I mustered the courage to ask Zade what was going on, also making sure not to sound rude. But before he could respond, Victoria interjected, her voice filled with warmth and familiarity. "Zade and I were just reminiscing." They share a look and she giggles.

I tried my best not to let their coziness get to me, silently reminding myself that I should trust Zade. But the nagging doubts and insecurities lingered, making it difficult to fully believe in his intentions. I knew I had to find a way to confront my fears and communicate with Zade openly and honestly.

"Oh?" I chuckle lowly.

"Yeah. Oh, my goddess! I'm sure you'd love to hear the time when Zade walked around in my heels just because my feet hurt!" Victoria exclaims and bursts into laughter.

Zade shakes his head from embarrassment, "Oh, no. Absolutely not. There's no need to relive all those embarrassing moments."

"Oh, stop it. Don't be modest! You rocked those heels. You looked cute."

I stand there silently watching the pair like an uninvited wedding guest. This is my house and she has managed to unknowingly make me feel unwanted for days.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed aside the doubts and approached Zade. "Can we talk?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly. I hoped that he would be able to sense and understand the weight of my emotions and be willing to address my concerns.

"Yeah, sure." He nods unmoving.

"Outside," I add agitated, before Zade gets up and excuses himself to follow me.

After we step outside, I close the guestroom door behind us. "What's wrong? You seem pissed." Zade asks.

"I'm not pissed. It's just that..." I pause, not knowing how to ask what is on my mind. "Is there something I should be worried about, Zade?" I ask calmly. I don't want him to think I don't trust him.

I do. I truly do. It's just hard to hold on to trust when just days ago this woman wasn't in our lives. And now she's here I feel like everything is going downhill.

"With, Victoria? No, surprisingly she has gotten much better." Zade announces happily.

"No, Zade. Between both of you?" I hate that I'm sounding like this. I'm not the jealous girlfriend who doesn't know how to control her insecurities. But there's just something about Victoria that fills me with plenty of doubt.

"What? Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know. It's just that you've been spending so much time with her, that you've barely left her side. And with all the things I've been-" I stop myself before I say more. "I just want to know if there's something I should prepare myself for," I add.

"Malia, I'm not cheating on you. And where the hell is this coming from? I haven't left her side because she is sick! And I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that someone I presumed dead years ago showed up on my property alive." Zade yells and I flinch slightly from how loud his voice is. "Instead of getting jealous about a harmless injured woman, the least you can do is support and trust your mate and Alpha."

My eyes widen slightly allowing a stray tear to roll down my cheek. "I-i'm not j-jealous. I was just scared because after I-i overheard what the Elders said to you at the last meeting, and t-today Zelda told me that-

Zade's eyes widen and his jaw clenches from anger. "You were eavesdropping on my meeting? That meeting was private."

Is that the only part he picked? The only part that mattered? "N-no! I didn't mean to. I just-" I sigh defeatedly before wiping at my tears. "Zade you have to understand me. My emotions have just been all over the place since the visit to the seer." I wipe furiously as the tears spill uncontrollably.

"No, I understand you perfectly well. You thought you heard something at that meeting, and with Victoria's return it has all fuelled your jealousy."

"W-what? I know what I heard, Zade."

Zade shakes his head disappointedly and steps back. "If you'll excuse me I'm going back inside. Victoria is convinced she'll heal faster if she shifts instead of laying in bed all day. I have to take her to the training grounds.

My heart shatters in my chest, "She has a wolf?" I ask weakly temporarily forgetting our earlier argument.

"Yes," Zade retorts before walking back into the room and leaving me even more heartbroken than before.

A few minutes later the duo come out of the room together, I wipe at my tears and silently pray my cheeks don't have noticeable tear stains. Victoria has a slight limp to her movement while Zade assists her in walking a little.

"Oh hi, Malia." Victoria greets me when she sees me all I can do is smile for fear of crying if I open my mouth to speak. "We're going for a quick run and then training after. You should join us."

"I'd love to-"

"She can't," Zade cuts me off with his gruff reply.

I turn to him but he makes sure his eyes remain on the exit, as if he can't wait for them to be out of my presence.

"Oh. Maybe next time then." Victoria says sweetly before they walk out.

I lean against the closest wall and crumble to the ground with tears in my eyes as I feel my heart break repeatedly.