4. SKIN TO FUR

Aura

I groaned, rolling onto the other side of the bed. Tossing and turning - this all I had been doing for the past hours. I barely had an ounce of sleep. Muscles tight and sore, a nagging discomfort of my current state.

Head dipped. Limbs bent and drawn up to my torso, curled up in a fetal position. Fingers tightly clutching the hem of the crochet quilt, draped lazily over my body. Trying to transfer some of my discomforts in its soft fold and wallowed myself into its warmth seeping into my skin.

Last night the celebration passed in a blur with whoops and hollers of Alpha Demetrius’s glory. Packs were showing their appreciation to their Alpha for conquering another pack in the north, stretching the border of Volkov’s control.

But I had been restless throughout the entire dinner. Skin felt raw and scratchy. A weird burning sensation clawing inside, intensifying with each breath, struggling to surface out of my flesh. The body temperature elevated beyond the limit which could be presumed as fever. I knew undoubtedly what was coming next.

Surrendering myself to the intense, gnawing need. Accepting my other essential being.

The beauty of my wildness.

After my first shift when I came home late at night, every muscle in my body was aching. And if the pain was not enough, the vague visions crept into my mind making me restless. When the first streak of rays burst through the clouds, brightening my room in a pale yellow glow, I gave up. I slipped out of my bed and decided to treat myself with a warm bath.

The drops of lavender oil on my skin lessened the stiffness. Felt relaxing. I breathed in its light, floral aroma to calm my senses. And it certainly did a surprising job to soothe my nerves.

I scrambled into a dress before I walked out of my room. My stomach rumbled, more pronounced, with the realisation that last night I hardly ate anything at dinner. I took a deep whiff, the smell of freshly made bread invaded my senses and I staggered towards the hearth.

Father was already sitting on the ground, tearing chunks of bread and dipping into his cabbage stew. He was ready to start the day attired in is warrior uniform, leather straps crisscrossed over his chest for keeping his weapons.

When I entered the storage room and settled down beside my father, a proud smile surfaced on his face and then, almost instantly, it faded away. His eyes caught the red blotches of discolouration on my neck, shoulders and arms.

“I feel fine, father,” I spoke out quickly to answer his unspoken question, to release him from his worries. Though every movement of my body shrieked in refusal yet it was not entirely impossible to endure the pain. Everyone underwent the same intensity of pain. More or less. The first transformation from the skin to fur always had a distressing effect on our bodies, energy being sucked out, leaving drained and exhausted.

I put the sweet bread into my mouth and the crumb melted. I sighed in satisfaction. That was all I needed after last night’s endless struggle for several hours.

“I pride myself in knowing how strong my daughter is. And without a doubt, I know you can take care of yourself. But a father always worries for his daughter.” Father expressed in his utmost sincerity. A trace of concern laced in his thick voice but he didn’t let it slip through the cracks of his guarded emotions. Always kept it hidden from the plain sight. But it never missed my eyes.

His presence had been consistent in my life, from the wobbly walk to the first howl. He moulded me from a bud into a fully blossomed flower with his support and encouragement. His firm beliefs solidified in my heart.

A strong survive. A weak is sacrificed.

“How are you feeling with the presence of your wolf, now?” He asked between his bites.

I couldn’t suppress my excitement, this time. A new euphoric feeling coursing through my body, making me ignore the dull ache for the time being.

Heightened Senses. Renewed energy. Engulfing me in its tight embrace. My wolf was fighting for domination, letting her presence known in every aspect.

An inner battle of interests striking in my mind.

Putting my feelings into words, I told him how I could easily decipher layer upon layer of noises beyond humans reach. And the scent whether sweet or spicy, crisp or earthy gaining access to my nostrils.

After breakfast before father left for his duty, my mother asked him to fetch the meat from the cellar. I accompanied him in the cold, damp room. Skin peeled. The smoked meats were coated in salt, hanging from the hooks.

He brought down the hooks and placed the game on the board.

The cellar had been stocking for months, saving a small portion of food from the daily ration for this day.

A cause for celebration.

It was not easy to throw a feast, being at the bottom of the rank, even for inviting a handful of people. But being an omega, my father was also a warrior and that came with added advantages, pulled together with storing foods and months of planning.

Highborn families didn’t need to worry for such a mere cause. They hosted such gatherings to flash their wealth with pride. Whereas we, omegas, strove.

Father didn’t linger long after we brought the pots of meats from the cellar. He left for work but not before reminding me, “Try to keep your wolf on a leash. We don’t want any trouble.”

The first few days after the shift, it was hard to keep my wolf under restraint and sometimes, she would go frenzy.

Later, Ivy visited with her mother to deliver baskets filled with vegetables. Freshly plucked from their backyard. They left with a quick goodbye to return to their farming task, to prepare the soil for their next seasonal crops.

Soon after they left mother started with the preparations. I helped with washing the vegetables and stuffing the meatloaf in mini pumpkins. The day passed by in a blur with all the preparations and soon, the night fell. Before guests started arriving, I took a long shower to get rid of the cooking smells clung to my skin.

Mother made few adjustments to her old dress, altered it to my size, patched up the lace over the ripped fabric, sewed the seams and hemmed the edges.

I slipped into the dress, it felt too much with the beads and heavy fabrics but mother wouldn’t appreciate it if I complained about it. She would remind me how much effort she had put into making it. Staying up late at night, straining her eyes under the dusky glow of the lamp.

When I strolled out of my room, my parents were engaged in some heated conversation in the living room. As I drew closer, they abruptly halted in their actions and turned their gazes towards me.

Mother’s face lit up like a bright star on a long night. She scurried to my side in a flash letting her gaze roam over my frame. Her eyes held so much appreciation “You have grown so much Aura. You look like a woman. A beautiful woman. I bet tonight all eyes will be on you.” I rolled my eyes.

Surely, father didn’t share her bouncing enthusiasm. An unapproved look shadowed over his face, contrasting mother’s excitement. “Aura, isn’t the dress a bit inappropriate for your taste?”

I sighed. I didn’t want to voice out my unwillingness, knowing how this would end. But it was not hard to guess after all as I had never been dressed up like this before. Mother always got over-excited when we were invited for a get-together. It was like dress-up Aura was her favourite plaything. Just how the neighbouring kids indulged themselves-changing the dresses and did complete makeovers to their wooden dolls.

Before I could respond, mother beat me to it replying “I think she looks lovely. She is not our little girl anymore, Andros. Soon she will be claimed by her male. I want the best for my daughter. She wouldn’t share the same fate as her mother. Married to a low-born.” She glanced back at father before continuing “And the way she is looking tonight, she will surely grab some attention and soon climb up the pack hierarchy.”

Dad remained silent. But his passive face saying it all. He might be blaming himself for ruining her fate when maybe she had the chance to be claimed by another male who held a higher status.

“Mother, I don’t wish to grab anyone’s attention, certainly not willing to find my mate. And Father is the only omega who proved himself to be accepted among the warriors. It was huge respect and honour he holds within the pack. I want to be just like my father. A warrior. As father always tells no matter what rank you hold in the pack hierarchy, your dreams should not be affected by the rank."

Mother huffed. She walked away to welcome the guests as they started arriving. Father turned to face me and spoke firmly, “I hope, I don’t have to see some hormone-ravage young wolves paw at my daughter before I break their legs.” He quickly left outside to attend to the guests. I followed their lead and stepped outside in the backyard.

The celebration was in a full swing! Soft and mellow tune drifted off into the air. Ivy along with few other girls and women were gathered around the pit of fire, swaying their hips and waving their hands, matching their footsteps to the beat. It was hard to make out the murmuring words.

Humming noises conflicted over the buzzing chatter.

Looking through the crowd, I easily spotted Chaz under the string of lights where the tables were arranged for dinner. He seated on a bench with other boys, staffing meatballs in his mouth. Noticing me, he tried to pose a smile but that only led to a mess. The spicy sauce dripped out of his gaping mouth and dropped on the front panel of his shirt.

With a disgusted face, I turned away, checking the sufficient availability of foods. Few pots were empty. The container of white citrus tea needed to refill. I looked everywhere but didn’t find my parents anywhere. I retreated into the house through the back door. With the drums beating in the background, muffled high-pitched voices were coming from my parents’ bedroom.

I stepped closer. “I specifically told you to invite more warriors but all I can see are those lowborn people swarming into my backyard.” Mother’s voice clipped with anger and displeasure.

“They are our friends. What do you expect me to do? not to invite them? I have also invited the warriors but only a few were polite enough to come with their families” Father argued back.

“You don’t get it, Andros. Today Aura has her first shift. And within a few years, she will undergo her first heat. I don’t want her to mingle with these low-born boys” Her voice betrayed the concerning emotion, and pointed with accusation at my father “And certainly don’t want her to end up with someone just like me.”

“Kori, being an omega doesn't define who we are. It only defines our status but not us. There is so much more than that.” Father didn’t raise his voice, only trying hard to reason with her.

Mother’s temper mingled with fury and frustration “We have no respect. Hardly we get to invite those upscale gatherings. My life is doomed but Aura’s will be different. This is our only chance. If she draws the attention of any high-rank members, we can change her future. And ours.”

“I am not going to push our daughter in the arms of a highborn. For the sake of the fulfilment of your wishes. She is strong enough to make her own choices.” Father spoke in his firm tone.

I sighed. Grabbing the bowl of baby roasted potatoes, I stepped outside.

They were having this same endless argument every time. With each passing day, their arguments started to get cold. Sharp. Slowly, the wall of bitterness would rise between them as the thorns started to grow.

Father stopped raising his voices a long time ago but his statement always held a word of finality to her. No matter how hard she railed against him, nothing would change his mind. Only the sourness stretched.