Chapter Four- What Did That look Mean?

I am chaste, uninitiated in all means, but I am not entirely clueless.

I have read and watched a lot of erotica to know almost as much as someone who's been around the block. I know what an erection is. I saw one fifty two minutes ago.

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Nearly an hour elapsed with me pondering over what had transpired in that office. I laid in the dark, staring at my ceiling while I fought to purge this tightness harassing my stomach.

I have never had a boyfriend and I have never been kissed. It is sad on my part, but no boy, even the biggest idiot to ever be birthed into this world, knows better than to become the romantic interest of the Devil's daughter. I am chaste, uninitiated in all means, but I am not entirely clueless.

I have read and watched a lot of erotica to know almost as much as someone who's been around the block. I know what an erection is. I saw one fifty two minutes ago.

I don't know what to think. My step-father has committed a lot of atrocities, but none, have haunted me quite like him shamelessly revealing the evidence of his arousal to me.

I don't want to think too much about it, but my mind doesn't want to stop manufacturing questions I know I do not want to hear the answers to.

If only he'd said a word. Just one word.

It is said that the Devil is the master of deceit, that he is most adroit at weaving up illusions of false pleasure and decadence that conceal utter apparition. That is how he traps many souls without them even knowing it.

But I believe his most formidable weapon, is his silence. He conceals his emotions so brilliantly, nothing taunts me quite as effectively as his silence.

The way he can bore his eyes into you and leave you imagining unspeakable horror, even during the most normal of situations.

He scares me, as much as he scares everyone, but then again, he is not as invested into everyone as he is in me.

My younger siblings, his biological daughters, have never even set foot in his office. He almost disregards them, and keeps his diligent eyes on me.

I have dreams of liberty, of living far away from Bervon and starting afresh on a new page.

Thinking was torturous, I needed to unload and share the weight of this enigma with someone, so I video called a very good friend of mine.

When your daddy is known as the Devil by his people, making friends with the citizens is impossible, so I had to resort to forming alliances online.

"Sevo." (Hey). I grinned at my phone like a silly adolescent, always happy to see the only person I can regard as my best friend.

"Hey Nessa, how are you looking this cute so late, look at me, my head looks like a bird's nest." Junia pouted, her heavy accent exaggerated even the tiniest of complaints or grumbles.

Junia and I have been friends for over two eyes, we were born in the same year, she's eighteen years old but has her days of conducting herself like someone half her age and she's from The Republic of Szchezar, a small country fifteen hours away. Though we've never met in person, we know each other so well and understand each other so much, that we might as well be soul-mates.

"Something weird just happened to me, I don't even know what to think." I immediately got to it, before any anxiety could convince me otherwise.

Junia gasped theatrically, her emerald green eyes bulging out to heighten the effect of her spurious shock.

"No don't tell me... you have a date?"

I shook my head and she took another guess.

"You got your first kiss?"

She suffered the same response, but she had a lot of guesses to throw by.

"That balding math teacher you were telling me about hit on you?"

Nope. But close.

Nooo... I did not just think that.

"A boy invited you to his apartment to have sex, you got there, he flashed the dong and it was uncut and the size of a baby carrot?"

I laughed at that one. Jun and I read the same material, so we both know just how tragic that would be.

At least the dong I got a glimpse of was nothing close to small at all.

Sweet lord what am I thinking?

I cannot be thinking about the Devil's peni- intimate part, I CANNOT.

"Tell me then," Jun whined, dragging out a yawn in not so lady like fashion, "I'm all out of guesses and too impatient and by the look on your face, I can tell that the news is juicy."

I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth and hesitated for a brief while before I spoke.

"This is going to sound so weird... uhhmmm... so whenever I "misbehave" my step-dad, the one I always tell you about, throws me over his lap and spanks me and tonight was one of those times... he found out that I was talking and flirting with a boy, called me to his office and....."

Why is talking about this making me so nervous?

"Eheemmm.... go on.." Jun wiggled her thin brows, not even the worst camera could dull that glimmer of excitement in her eyes.

I sighed. "Okay... so he was supposed to spank me, he hadn't spanked me in a LONG time because I always avoided it and made sure I was on my best behaviour... but instead of striking me with the paddle, he started... i don't know... rubbing my ass with his fingers and he wanted to take off my panties but someone knocked and interrupted before he could proceed in that direction... that's weird, right? Do you think it's weird?"

"Totally! I'm flabbergasted right now, that sounds exactly like that scene between Domino and Isobel."

And she hasn't even heard the rest of it.

Domino and Isobel were the main protagonists in one of my favorite erotica novels; Specific Taste. Domino was a dominant older man who introduced a young, nineteen years old Isobel to the inescapable world of abound lust and sinful pleasure.

Domino and Isobel were lovers who craved each other with every fibre of their being.

The Devil and I are not lovers, I have never and will never view him from that angle. N-E-V-E-R.

"That's not the rest of it," I added, even more appalled by the reference she had made, "when I heard someone knocking, I stood up and pulled down my night dress and stared at him to see if he was mad but you won't believe what I saw."

"Out with it already Nessa, I can't bear the anticipation!" Jun urged and I continued to spill the last bit.. uneasily.

"I saw... I saw.. a bulge in his black pants, it was just there, calling for attention.. I couldn't ignore it and there was no way I could've imagined it! And it was big, like he must've at least been semi-erect or something... I was so horrified Jun, he'd caught me staring! Guess what he does after that- he removes his hand so I can see more of it and then he smirks!"

Jun scrunched up her nose, grimacing. She awarded me with the last reaction I was expecting. "Ewweee..."

Ewwee? What's that all about?

"Why ewweee?" I asked.

"Because he's like your step-dad so he must be old, bald and have a huge belly like old those pervs." She answered.

Huh! Far from it.

The Devil is not old, bald, neither does he have a potbelly. I don't know what ever made her believe that he is unsightly.

The Devil is beautiful, it's a curse we must all bear.

He might be lovely to the eyes, but his soul is unappealing to the mind.

"He's not like that, at all." I didn't mean to sound so defensive.

"Please send me a picture so I can put a face and body to this cruel, spanking Devil you always talk about." Jun batted her eyes, an attempt to sweeten me.

"Okay... give me a sec..." I didn't have any picture of my father, so i had to search for one on the net. There were plenty of good ones, I downloaded a few and sent three to her. In two he was in his power suits, one he was in his General of the army uniform. He is no longer a General, but will always be remembered as one.

It didn't even take three seconds before Jun's exaggerated squeals and gasps filled the room.

"Oh my gosh noo...no..no.. this man is not your step-father Nessa... no! This is literally the hottest man i have ever seen! This is exactly the kind of man i picture when I think about Oliviero!"

Tarlia's Oliviero!

My Oliviero!

No! No! No!

That is the man of my dreams and torrid fantasies.

"So here's what I think," she finally stopped gushing and took the assemble of a high class corporate boss manning the boardroom, "I think Thanos is attracted you, he likes you Nessa, he must want you, that's why he got hard from touching your butt."

How can she articulate such horror so causally!

No! No! No!

My mother's husband does not want me.

Sure the Devil is always gazing my way, slicing into me with those soulless eyes, but that does not in any way mean he's attracted to me.

Not at all.

"That would be insane Jun! What am I going to do?"

Jun shrugged casually. "Nothing, do nothing. If I was in your shoes, I would have been all over him if he wasn't my dad, I mean have you seen him! On a serious note, I'd so love to be in your shoes! Hey, don't look at me like that, you know my hormones are out of control. Nessa, don't act like you just found out you're pregnant from a one night stand with a broke, STI infested bum!"

"I am HORRIFIED, Jun." I mean can she blame me? Now more than ever, I have more than a few reasons to leave this house.

"Look, as long as he doesn't seduce you or anything, then you'll be fine... I mean who knows, maybe he was just horny at that moment and doesn't actually think of you that way."

But still!

I really hope so.

Or god knows I'll never leave this room.