Cope

"He's just so... fucking annoying!" I say as I sit on the couch.

"What did he do? And who is he?" Lexi asks as she sits beside me.

I roll my eyes annoyed with myself; I can't believe I played right into his hands.

"Johnattan... The Dom... And also the CEO of Blake's Architecture, the company we are partnering with," I reply as Roxie jumps into my lap. "Can't a girl have a normal one night stand without it coming round to bite her in her ass?"

Roxie is my white furry pup. I adopted her a year ago from a pound. Roxie is my best friend... No more than that she's like family, she helps me out, keeps me company and I care for her like my own child - yeah, I am that kind of pet owner. She deserves it anyway, she has been abused, homeless and scarred - in so many ways physically and mentally. That day at the pound her light brown eyes are what drew me to her, they hold misery, neglect and hope. Hoping that someone will end her suffering and show her love and affection. That is why I choose her, I want to be the one to help her.

I smile as I pet her head, playing with her snipped ear – a scar of her suffering. She rubs her head on my tummy, then lifting it up so her tongue can lick my hand. I smile and made kissy faces at her. She always has her way of cheering me up.

"Hold the phone. He's your partner?" Lexi asks eyes widened.

"Technically yes," I say as I rub Roxie's tummy and she whines in satisfaction.

"Tell me what happened now. You said you had a presentation for a partnering company. Was it his?" I nod. "Tell me everything that happened."

I sigh as I recall the events of the meeting - leaving out the location of the orphanage - Lexi sits there listening intrigued.

"Then after the meeting, my boss pulls me aside to praise me for my great presentation and gives me his 'I wish you all the best' smile. Johnattan then comes up to me. He smiles slyly and shakes my hand - acting like it's his first time seeing me. Then he leans in to whisper something in my ear."

Lexi now has her legs crossed and a pillow hugged to her chest. She urges me to continue like a toddler being read a bedtime story by her mommy.

"He said 'Nice try Christi but you just gave the game away. Wrong move'. Like what does he think this is a game?" I huff as I pet a sleeping Roxie. "Then he's like 'don't go to the club, we wouldn't want a repeat of what happened last night... Or better said you wouldn't'... The nerve!"

A shiver slides down my spine as I remember his smile that could have melted the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. It was beautiful but holds a sadistic twist to it, I can only imagine the thoughts going through his head and the ones I do imagine scare the shit out of me.

"Obviously if he said 'you gave the game away' he thinks it's a game," she says in a duh tone emphasizing the word game. "As for the last part, he has a point. You usually get your ass drunk under hard circumstances and then get your ass into trouble or somebody's bed."

"I do not!" I protest.

"You do, look at Francesco, Dylan, Rick, James... Do I need to continue?"

I run a hand through my wild brown hair in annoyance and lean back on the couch's armrest. "I just want him out of my life." I throw my hands up as I sigh.

"Then why accept a job working for him?"

"Lexi this is my big break. I'm not going to let a hot, sexy, Greek God... who is a Dom - that has his mind set on making me his - deny me of it..." I say as I sit up.

"I totally agree. But hey, with every great thing there is an obstacle you must face and that rich, sexy hunk is yours," she sighs. "You're so damn lucky. You're working with hunks while I serve drunk, desperate single, married men and assholes with breaths as stink as sewage. Revolting!"

I stifle a laugh as I look at her scrunched up face.

"And they always try to grab me and try stupid flirts. Like 'let me trace the curves of your breast, follow the pattern to where it ends'. I swear I'm gonna show one of them the pattern of their assholes if they touch me."

"Gosh, men have some crappy pickup lines," I say shaking my head.

"Yeah, it's like they pick them up from a damn dump."

I chuckle as she grimaced. I pull Roxie off my lap into my arms holding her like a baby. Her nails dig into my pink T-shirt. I smile as I get up and walk over to her little bed covered with a blue blanket.

Someone's clingy.

I place her down, pull her nails out of my top, covered her and brush off my khaki shorts. I looked up at Lexi, who is sporting a black Johnnie's T-shirt and a pair of jeans shorts, smiling. She had on pink gladiator slippers to match the stitching.

I crash back into the couch my head in her lap and my feet on the armrest.

"Lexi... I have to go to New York for the job." I look up to see her ready to blow. "Don't freak out!"

She takes a deep relaxing breath and softly asks "When?"

"Tomorrow," I reply.

"Chrissie! Why the hell didn't you tell me from earlier?!" she blows up.

"I didn't want to worry you hon. Plus, I'm not going to be away for long."

"Chrissie, we haven't been apart since college are you sure you can cope?" She asks looking me in the eyes.

"I have to try... You're not going to be here all the time plus Roxie will be with me," I smile.

She plays in my hair, a worried look on her face. She always got like this when that topic looks like it would pop up again. She doesn't want to see me back to that stage of my life and I didn't either. Plus, with Johnattan, it posed a greater threat of surfacing and it needs to stay buried.

"Chrissie just promise me you will call me if any signs show up, please," her eyes hold mine in a compassionate stare.

"I will. Plus, as I said I can cope. It's been years."

"Two years, not enough to cope with that. Just promise me Chrissie, please. I can't see you like that again."

I sit up, grab her hand and smile. "I will call you if any signs show up Alexis. I promise."

She smiles and hugs me. She pulls away, looks at the clock and shoots up from the couch. She informs me that she has work and I nod understandingly. She embraces me and promises to accompany me to the airport. I accept and tell her that when I get the place and time from the boss tonight, I'll inform her.

With that, she left and I am alone.

I place my back against the door, I let out some hard breathes as my mind wonders and thoughts I shouldn't dare to think of float in my mind. I push off the door, after which I raid my kitchen. I grab a bottle of wine and pour myself a glass - filling it to the rim. I walk towards my couch, sit and empty the glass. I place the bottle and glass on the table, and then I hold my head with both hands.

I sigh as I remembered the past, a place I try not venture. The tears roll down my cheeks as those memories resurface.

The thunder, lightning and the rain... The drops of rain beating on the benches and the cries of pain....

I violently shake my head, fill the glass again and drink until it is empty. Feeling a wave of emotional pain rolling towards me, I turn the bottle to my lips and down it. Lexi's question runs through my head as I stare into space.

Can I really cope? What if something triggers me? I can't go back to two years ago.