Chapter Four

He glanced at me. “I know what you’re thinking,” he said.

I bet you don’t.

“What?” I asked, taking a sip of my own rich soup and thoroughly enjoying a tingle of desire for a real man instead of a fictitious one for a change.

“How could I not have seen it coming?” he said.

“Did you?”

“No, not at all. Although looking back the signs were there. Hell, they both disappeared for twenty-five minutes at our wedding reception.”

I gave a sympathetic frown. “Do you think they were…at it?”

“I don’t think, I know. She threw the information at me in an argument last Christmas. They’d been shagging in the ladies’ toilet for heaven’s sake.” His brown eyes captured mine and he sighed. “I’m sorry, Ashley. I don’t normally meet someone and start boring them with this.”

I shrugged. “It’s good to talk about bad stuff that’s happened. It gets it off your chest.”

“Yeah, but it’s history, I guess with the New Year coming up it makes you think of all that’s happened, but now I’m looking forward to starting afresh.”

“Is that what you’re going to do?”

“I’ve already done it. Since I got home from Oz I’ve been getting my teeth back into life.” He smiled broadly. “I know I’ve got a good career if I just keep working hard and I wish Mandy and Jared well. No hard feelings, no bitterness, because that would just drag me down.”

“Very sensible, and of course you wouldn’t want to be dragged down any longer.” I drew my gaze from his face, took another sip of my soup, and let the creamy potato coat my tongue and warm my throat. I forced myself not to think of all the dragging down I’d like him to do to me. Had we been on The Lost Soul, he a pirate and me a willing wench, he could have dragged down my garter and petticoats, my pantaloons and corset all day, every day until we reached shore.

“And what about you, Ashley?” His gaze settled on my mouth. I licked my lips and hoped I didn’t have a sprig of stray herb stuck in my gloss. “What are you hoping for next year?” He glanced at my hands, the way I had his. Was he checking for a wedding ring? Surely not.

“Mmm, I don’t know really.” I could hardly tell him that losing my virginity was top of my to-do list. That finding a hot hunk to screw me silly was becoming increasingly pressing.

“Are you going for any promotions at Safe as Houses?”

“No, I’m happy with what I’m doing. I like chatting to customers and not having to take any of the work home with me at night. When I go out the office door, my time and my mind are my own.”

“Very sensible,” he said, taking a sip of the wine the waiters had just served. As he set the glass down his gaze strayed a little farther from my mouth, floated over my neck and into the hollow of my throat. “I like your necklace.”

“Thanks.” Instinctively I pressed my finger to it. “It was a present.”

“From your boyfriend?”

“No, no boyfriend. My parents gave me it as a birthday present a few years back.”

“It’s very pretty,” he said, still looking at it. “Just like you.”

My chest tightened. My breath hitched and a wave of intense heat spread up to my cheekbones. He’d just called me pretty. No guy had ever said that to me before. I placed my spoon down and it clattered against my bowl.

“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning back as a waiter gathered plates. “Not very smooth of me, I know.” He shrugged. “I’m kinda out of the game at the moment, guess I’ve lost my touch and subtlety never was my strong point.”

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

“Have you finished, miss?” a waiter asked over my right shoulder.

I nodded vigorously.

The waiter cleared away and Shane reached and grabbed a Christmas cracker. “Here. Pull this with me.”

His action sparked the rest of the table reaching for their crackers and I was glad of the deflected attention from my blush. Bangs, cries of surprise and hoots from wheezers rang out. I clutched the crinkled end of the gold cracker Shane offered and braced.

We both pulled and it split in two with a loud crack. My chest wobbled as I laughed. It surprised me, I laughed harder and my chest wobbled some more. Shane chuckled and for the briefest of seconds his glance hit my quivering breasts.

“Excellent,” he said, scooping up our loot from the starched-white tablecloth. “A tiny torch for when the lights go out later.” He flicked it to life and flashed the weak beam onto the palm of his broad hand.

“And the joke?” I said, reaching for the curl of white paper, “is…” I paused. It wasn’t a joke at all. It was a proverb.

“What is it?” Shane asked, leaning in close again.

“The things that are really for thee, gravitate to thee,” I said over the squeals and cracks coming from other tables.

“Very appropriate,” he said with a smile, and taking it.

“What do you mean?”

He folded it in half and poked it into his inside breast pocket. “I think I’ve come up with enough cheesy lines for the first course, don’t you?”

The main meal was traditional turkey with all the trimmings followed by Christmas pudding and brandy sauce. Shane and I chatted about our Safe as Houses colleagues and compared offices, commutes and parking complaints, then the conversation moved on to movies. I read more than I watched but still offered up a couple of the year’s big releases to discuss. It seemed Shane was a keen cinemagoer and preferred the big screen to sitting at home. “Better appreciation of the cinematography,” he said seriously.

I told him about the holiday I’d taken to Egypt in the summer with my parents—the mighty pyramids and the flies that had eaten me alive. He kept the whole table entertained with a story about a snake in his boot in the outback, and how he and his friend had tempted it out with raw sausage and captured it in a net.

I watched him talking and thought how perfectly masculine the texture of his skin looked—just the right amount of stubble over an angled jawline. I rubbed my fingertips together in my lap and wondered what his cheek would feel like to touch. What it would be like pressed against mine. He turned to me and smiled as he stretched his arms wide to show the length of the snake. I imagined his sharply stubbled chin on my chest, on my stomach, on the inside of my thighs. I squeezed my legs together as a tiny tremor buzzed in my pelvis. In The Barmaid’s Brew, Gray had tormented Daisy with the roughness of his cheek on her inner thigh, touching and scratching until she’d begged for more, demanded that he go higher and take her intimate flesh into his mouth.

A sudden loud clinking snapped my attention away from the erotic image and I turned to see Ray standing two tables away, banging his spoon against his glass.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he boomed. The room fell silent. “Thank you all so much for coming tonight despite the atrocious weather conditions, it really is very much appreciated.”

“All this for free, no chance I was missing it,” a heckler behind me shouted.

A rumble of laughter and hear, hear echoed around as Ray held up his glass. “I can assure you it’s not free for me.” He laughed. “But I’m not complaining, you guys have once again exceeded all my expectations with the way you throw your efforts and your skills into making Safe as Houses the biggest, most reliable, most recommended security company in the country.”

A cheer rang out and several people hooted on paper trumpets. I looked back at Shane. I couldn’t help it. He was like a magnet, and an image of us in the same position as Daisy and Gray had suddenly appeared in my mind’s eye.

“And,” Ray said, “before the disco begins next door and we dance off those calories, I would just like you all to raise a glass to my very dear friend and colleague, Derek Finlay, who is retiring in the New Year.” He turned to Derek who was sitting beside him. “You will be sadly missed but I know you have a very busy and very exciting retirement planned and I wish you all the best.”

Derek smiled, though I had an inkling it was slightly strained. He wasn’t big on being the center of attention.

“Thanks,” Derek said, color rising on his cheeks. “It’s been a pleasure to be part of such an inspiring company.”

“To Derek,” Ray said, lifting his wine high before taking a sip.

“To Derek,” the room said as one.

“To Derek,” I added quietly, feeling a weight tug at my heart. Out of all the people at The Fenchurch, it was me who’d miss Derek the most. He was part of my daily life and I couldn’t imagine who’d ever be able to fill his shoes.

“May the party begin,” Ray shouted. He clapped his hands and pointed through a darkened archway.

Thumping music suddenly belted out from the room next door. The tinsel- decorated arch came alive with flashing neon lights and the restaurant erupted in a burst of energy. “Dance until you can dance no more—it’s Christmas!” Ray bellowed around cupped hands.

My feet absorbed the pounding beat, which vibrated right up through my body.

“Excuse me,” Shane said, standing.

I watched as he turned and walked away. His broad shoulders shifted beneath his suit jacket with each of his long, ground-eating strides. A sagging hole gaped in my stomach. He’d gone. Clearly he’d been up for the meal and that was him done for the evening. Either that or he had his eye on someone else he wanted to be with.

He slipped from the room and I turned back to the table, heart heavy. Everyone was pushing back their chairs, finishing dregs of wine and hot-heeling it to the dance floor.

“Come on, Jeremy,” Rachel said, grabbing his arm and smiling broadly. “Show me your moves.”

Jeremy laughed. “You reckon you can handle it?”

“Oh yeah, bring it on, big boy.” She giggled, half walking, half skipping toward the archway.

Jeremy dashed off behind her with a broad grin on his face.

The pimply young guy sitting behind the flowers stuck his head around them and looked at me. He gave a shy smile. “Wanna dance?” I could hardly hear him over the music but I lip-read the words.

I didn’t really want to dance with him. But he had a flicker of hope in his eye and his smile was slightly shaky. I didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Sure.” I pushed up from the table. “Just one dance and then I’m going to turn in. It’s been a long day.” Not to mention my heroes and heroines were calling me.

He grinned and stood. He really was very tall, and very slight. His suit hung on him as if he were a wire coat hanger and his neck looked overly long and very pale.

We walked through the arch and my eardrums were blasted with Manic Machines’ risqué Christmas hit, SlipKnot. The dance floor was heaving with gyrating, thrusting bodies. Arms waved and bodies twisted amongst the bright flashing lights.

We began to bop on the outskirts of the group. He smiled again, exposing his yellowing teeth, and jigged from one foot to the other. He stepped closer, or rather lunged, and I hopped back. I didn’t want any body contact. This was a mercy dance and the sooner it was over the better. I was already thinking of Tobias and Saffron and curling up under the duvet on my four-poster bed. I was going to have such literary fun.

I glanced at Jeremy and Rachel. She’d locked her hands behind his neck and he was swinging her around. They were having a wild time. They were both single and it was clear they were going to end up enjoying hot, naked, sweaty activities together. Making their own heat to combat the icy chill outside, doing the sort of stuff my characters got up to and what I longed to do.

A flicker of jealousy lit within me, but it quickly turned to alarm as the music switched to a slow ballad. Pimply guy reached for me. An excuse to escape grew in my mind.

I stepped backward and bumped into an immovable body.

“Excuse me,” a deep voice rumbled over my shoulder. “This young lady owes me a dance.”

I turned and looked up into Derek’s smiling face. His cheeks were flushed and the disco lights reflected in his thick glasses.

“Derek,” I gasped, full of relief. “Sorry,” I said to my skinny suitor. “He is my boss.” I pulled a semi-apologetic expression and turned away. I didn’t really feel bad. He wasn’t my type. There would be someone out there for him but it definitely wasn’t me.

Derek put a chaste arm on my waist and wrapped my small hand in his big, soft one. I smiled up at him. “Thanks,” I said.

“You looked like you needed rescuing. I’ve seen that look before.”

“You have?”

“Yes, when that supply postal guy asked you out in the spring.” He laughed. “To his mother’s poetry recital.”

I groaned at the memory. I hadn’t known whether to be monumentally insulted or flattered. I think I’d settled on insulted. “Yeah, no wonder he was single if that was his best date offer.”

“Yeah, must have been hard taking a knock back in front of the whole office though,” Derek said with another huff of amusement.

“He shouldn’t have asked me out in front of everyone.”

Derek’s face turned serious. “But what about now, poppet? Is anyone taking you on dates to the West End or for long, lazy walks around Hyde Park on a Sunday morning? Gareth, maybe?”

“Oh no, there’s nothing between me and Gareth, we’re just friends. But I’m a romantic at heart and I live in hope of finding the one.” Why people thought Gareth and I might hook up was a mystery. He was a mate, that was all. There was no spark between us.

“Love and romance will definitely find you,” Derek said firmly. “Probably when you least expect it. Look at me and Janice. There I was, standing in the queue at Covent Garden buying candy floss for my little sister and suddenly there she was, smiling at me from behind a pink, sugary cloud, all shy and pretty with big blue eyes.”

I smiled. I’d heard the story before. It was his “love at first sight” speech.

“We stepped out together the next night and were married six months later,” he went on. “I don’t believe in hanging around. If there is something you want, go for it. Some things in life are worth taking on the ‘terrier’ attitude for even if it’s not really in your nature. Don’t you think?”

I nodded. He was right. Maybe I should take on the terrier attitude. There were things I wanted, no make that needed, and I wasn’t any closer to getting them at the moment.

“You just have to grab hold of opportunities,” he was saying. “Grab hold and don’t let go, it’s the only way sometimes.”

That was all very well, but I needed an opportunity to get rid of my damn virginity. To someone handsome and dashing, someone sophisticated and experienced, and that opportunity just didn’t seem to be coming my way. But maybe with this new look, this new flicker of confidence Dawn had shown me I possessed, I had more chance of achieving my aim in the New Year. I wasn’t so naïve to think that just the look would change me. I needed to change inside too. I needed to be more proactive in looking for opportunities and if I found them, like Derek said, I had to go for it.

The song ended and in its place another slow ballad started.

“Perfect,” Derek said, grinning down at me. “Lady in Red couldn’t be better since I’m dancing with the only lady wearing red in the room.” His face got serious and I noticed a few beads of sweat on his forehead. “Seriously, Ashley, I’m really going to miss the office. Janice is so excited and so am I, but it’s going to be hard not seeing my team every day and sharing a laugh over our morning coffee…” His voice trailed off and he looked over my left shoulder. His arm tightened on my waist and he spun me around.

My feet stumbled as I came face to chest with Shane Galloway.

I looked up.

He stared down.

He’d ditched his jacket and tie and his white shirt shone neon in the disco lights. Where he’d undone his collar a small collection of dark hairs curled on his chest.

“May I?” Shane asked Derek, though his dark gaze stayed captured with mine.

“Be my guest,” Derek said, releasing me and stepping backward. “To tell you the truth, I could do with wetting my whistle.” He made a drinking motion with his hand. “I’ll catch you later, Ashley. Don’t forget what we were talking about.” He gave me a quick wink then was swallowed by the crowd.

I stood, arms at my sides, as a rush of joy washed through me. Shane was still at the party and not only that, he was looking at me with the same dark twinkle in his eye he’d had earlier.

“Come here, lady in red,” he said, reaching for me with both hands. I stifled a gasp as he confidently wrapped one arm around my waist and caught my hand in his. He pulled our knotted fingers against his chest and tugged me close.

My breasts pressed against our joined hands, the exposed flesh peeping over my dress just touching the back of his knuckles and the fold of my own thumb. He swept his tongue over his bottom lip, coated it in a damp sheen, and kept his hand exactly where it was.

Reaching up, I rested my palm over his shoulder and felt the hardness of taut muscle beneath his shirt, lean and strong, firm and toned. He set up a gentle sway to the music and I followed his lead, absorbing his body heat. “I thought you’d gone,” I said.

“I had to make a call. My sister was driving back from Scotland after visiting a friend. I wanted to make sure she’d made it okay through the snow.”

“And did she?”

“Yeah, she’s home safe and sound.” His mouth broke into a smile and small creases darted toward his temples. “Sipping cocoa with the cat curled up on her lap.”

“Good, I’m glad,” I said, mesmerized by his handsome face.

He slid his hand up my back and ducked his head to my ear. I breathed in deep as the skin on his jawline came close to my face. He smelled divine, a “fresh from the shower scent” that reminded me of open water and clean air.

“Just as well,” he murmured. “I’ve just looked outside. We’re well and truly snowed in here, not much I could have done to help her if she’d got stuck somewhere.”

“We are?” I asked. “Snowed in?”

“Oh, yes. We’re trapped, no one is going anywhere, in or out of this place.”

As he spoke, his hot breath washed over my neck and generated a tickle over my scalp. I’d never experienced a feeling like it before. It was pleasurable. It was exciting. It was sexy as hell. “At least it’s nice and warm in the hotel and there’s plenty of food and drink,” I managed.

He pulled back and grinned. “Yeah, but if this ancient heating system breaks down we may have to get inventive with ways to keep warm.”

I looked into his eyes. They held a cheeky glint and one side of his mouth twitched, creating a tiny dimple in his right cheek.

“What do you suggest?” I asked.

“Well.” He tipped his head to the side and narrowed his eyes as if contemplating options. “We could always just drag extra blankets on to the beds, make hot water bottles and drink tea or, and this is probably more advisable, we could share body heat, generate our own warmth. I hear it can save your life to get close and cozy with someone on a cold winter’s night.”

“Close and cozy,” I repeated in a whisper, hardly daring to acknowledge in my mind what he was suggesting.

“Mmm.” His face was so near to mine, hovering just a hair’s breadth away. “Close and cozy and…naked.”

My body jerked. It was involuntary. I hadn’t meant to jump within his arms. But his words were like whips of sensation that traveled around my brain then sent darts of pleasure and terror to all the corners of my being. Naked. With him? Me with Shane Galloway?

He huffed and pulled his head back. “Sorry,” he said. “Guess I’m the only one here hoping the heating breaks down, eh?”

“Er, no, not at all.” I averted my gaze from his. My thoughts were spinning. What was I supposed to say to that? If I said I wanted the heating to break down I was saying I wanted to get close and cozy and naked with him—hell, I did. And if I said I didn’t want the heating to break down that was saying I wasn’t attracted to him—and I was. I was so attracted to him I wanted to stay in his arms all night. I wanted to kiss him, lick him, adore him all over. I wanted to do the things Tobias and Saffron did on their first night together, and then the things Daisy and Gray did and…

Heat rose on my cheeks again. Another blush was about to attack. Burying my head into the crook between his chest and his shoulder, I let my hot skin rest on his soft shirt. He smoothed his hand up my back, settling it beneath my hair and stroking a gentle circle.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to be so full on. It’s just been a long time since I held a beautiful woman in my arms. I’ve been so caught up in work and study and all that.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, sliding my hands over his shoulders and linking them at the nape of his neck. I tipped my face up to look into his dark eyes. Opportunities, Derek had said. You’ve got to grab them like a terrier and not let go, even if it’s hard to go against your nature, it’s what you’ve got to do. Pulling in a breath, I swallowed a lump of apprehension. “I want the heating to break down too,” I said, beating down a wave of anxiety at the meaning behind my words. We were talking in code. Flirting with each other and testing the water. I’d just told Shane Galloway I wanted to get naked with him.

Suddenly the music switched. A hard rock song came on, deafening me with its meaty base. Couples around us snapped apart and began to jig with gusto, waving their arms and kicking out their legs. Shane and I stayed locked together.

“You wanna get out of here?” he asked, his face suddenly serious and his eyebrows pulled low.

I sucked in a breath. The disco air was hot and the plethora of perfumes and sweat mixed with the smells of dinner suddenly too strong. The music was unbearably loud and the floor overcrowded. ”Yes,” I said, nodding. “Let’s get out of here.”