Having regrets

Richard's POV

I sat on the chair, the air heavy with dread, as my eyes drifted to the papers that littered about the office. The scent of the coffee that I had ordered my secretary to brew for me a while ago lingered in the air, but still, I couldn't take my eyes off the documents that had just been placed on my table, the one with the large font in front of it that read divorce papers.

A while ago, Ryan had walked in, holding them in his hands, and although I had prayed that it was just a figment of my imagination playing out on me, I was faced with the sad reality that it wasn't when he had slammed it on the table again, jolting me out of my thoughts

My heart ached as I reached out to take it, fiddling through the pages. I just couldn't believe Reina had signed them, my chest tightened, and a lump formed in my throat, one that stayed, no matter how hard I tried to force it down.

“Richard, I'm sorry,” Ryan apologized, his voice dripping with sympathy, that made me chuckle, why was I feeling pain? This was what I wanted, wasn't it?

But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't come to terms with the fact that Reina had signed this, that she had let me go, was this the promise she made when we had walked down the aisle together?

Ryan's voice drifted off to the background as I let myself wander in the large sea of thoughts before standing up abruptly,

Without saying a word, I sauntered out of the room, walking out in hastened steps out of the office.

My mind was in a daze as I thought back to last night. I had stood outside watching the gentle swell of her chest as she slept, but I couldn't bring myself to step in. Not after how I have hurt her, broken her, I kept getting flashes of what I had done, even when I hadn't done it unintentionally.

My heart pounded against my chest as I made my way out of the car toward the room I knew she was in,

“Please, this should be a bad dream, one I will be forced to wake up from soon” I pleaded with my eyes closed, I had a hand on the knob of her hospital room, and my heart shattered into tiny bits when I was met with an empty room, I stood transfixed to the spot, my legs wobbling before I finally stepped in, gripping the sheets she had laid in, her scent wafting into my nostrils, as tears welled up in my eyes,

“Reina,” I stood up, making my way toward the bathroom, hoping to see her, She might have gone in there, yes, that has to be it,

“Reina, please, come back, Do not do this to me” I pleaded, trying as hard as I could to fight back the torrent of tears that threatened to slip down my cheek,

“Reina….” I screamed out in pain, my voice echoing against the wall as I placed a hand on my chest, hoping that it would soothe the pain I was feeling as reality hit me hard. She was gone, far away from me, Reina had left me. How could she even think of doing that?

I raised my head toward the door when it was pushed open, hoping that it would be Reina when her parents stepped in. Their faces were etched with sorrow, anger, and resentment at me, they held a piece of paper in their hands which they thrust into my hands, and my heart flipped when I tore it open.

My eye skimmed the paper and the world around me turned blurry when it hit me. Reina had been pregnant, finally pregnant after four long years of us trying for a child, she finally had our child.

I stood transfixed to the spot I was in, my eyes darted across the room, as pain tore through my very soul, scaring me. My hands shook as I was forced to face the truth, the truth that I had caused it.

My mind flashed back to the moment before I had shoved her aside when she had told me she had something to tell me.

Tiny droplets of tears hit the floor beside me, as Mrs. Kourtney sniffed in,

“Reina gave you her all, her shares, her life, her love. She placed her life on hold just so you can be the man you are today, and what did you repay her with?”

“ Agony, heartache, and pain, you tore her fragile heart into pieces, making her a shadow of herself! “ Her voice thundered as she screamed at me, her chest heaved up and down,

I raised my head, intending to plead with her, let her know that I was sorry and would do better if I was given a second chance, but all of my high hopes came tumbling down at what she said next,

“I will haunt your company and that little whore you chose over my daughter… I will make you regret your very existence every day of your life, I will fight you until you are broken the same way you left my daughter, and you will end up being a figment of yourself when I am done with you” she swore, her eyes glaring daggers at me before walking away,

I sank to the ground, the tears flowing down freely as I crumpled the paper in my grasp. The realization that I had lost the only woman who had loved me and cherished me even more than herself for two minutes of pleasure broke me.

My knees sank to the ground, as I crouched down, broken and defeated as guilt gnawed at my soul, and I couldn't help but wish that I could turn back time, make different choices, and be the man Reina deserved. But I knew that was impossible. All that I could do now was carry the weight of my regrets and the knowledge that I had lost not only my wife but the chance to father a child by her as well.