TWO

THE FOLLOWING DAY, Kelly really wondered just what the hell she’d been thinking when she’d invited all these people over. Her house nearly groaned at the seams with Hurleys. All Vaughan’s brothers were there and each of them had a woman along. Mary, Damien’s wife, was hugely pregnant and yet she’d moved through Kelly’s kitchen with ease, continuing to produce food at a rate that made Kelly begin to wonder if the other woman didn’t have one of those magic bags that Hermione had in the Harry Potter books.

They all happily bustled through Kelly’s house, comfortable with one another. Even just a year before it would have made her feel lonely. So alone. But this place was hers. At one time she’d been far more comfortable on the other side of the camera, but in the years since she’d retired from the runway, she’d made herself at home taking photographs. The walls were covered in memories.

Every pillow, picture, plate and towel existed as a sort of talisman for Kelly. A bit of magic that made her feel safe. This was her home, her heart. Even Sharon Hurley being in her kitchen wasn’t enough to shake that.

Though it stung to see how warm Sharon Hurley was with everyone else’s women. Not once had the woman showed even a sliver of that toward her.

A knife shaped like jealousy and doubt sliced through her, and Kelly ruthlessly pushed it aside. It didn’t matter. She left and that was that.

Ross had recently left, taking his daughters along with him. His oldest had a piano lesson and after that, they had their weekly family dinner. At his ex-in-laws’ house. Yeah, that was sort of annoying. He still hung out with his ex-wife and her family weekly, but what could she say when her house was full of Hurleys?

So, Kelly had urged him to keep their schedules. Things needed to get back to normal. And to be honest, she really needed to think about how much hostility Ross had shown—in private, of course—over Vaughan and his family being around so much. He thought their lifestyle was bad for the girls to be around.

But that lifestyle was their world. Their dad was a musician. There was no getting around that. She didn’t want the girls to be ashamed or conflicted about it. It wasn’t Ross’s place and she pushed back but he didn’t like it much.

Blended families could work. They did work. But if he continued to attempt to get between the girls and their father, it made success impossible.

And damn if Vaughan wasn’t making it worse. He kept looking at her. Not in a where’s the food sense, like most people looked to one another in these situations. But an I like your boobs way.

Their sexual chemistry had never dimmed. Ever. Years ago Kelly had accepted she would always burn for Vaughan. But aside from his general flirty behavior—he had always been like that—he tried to keep it light. He certainly didn’t stare at her as if he wanted to rub on her the way she’d caught him at a few times that day.

When it was time to eat, he’d tried some monkey business, placing Kelly at the opposite end of the table from Ross but next to Vaughan. He’d put her in a corner and she didn’t like it one bit.

So Kelly had picked up her things and headed down to sit with Ross and his girls. Vaughan was up to something and she had no idea what the hell it was. But she was not pleased that he’d manipulate her like that.

But like so many things with Vaughan, she couldn’t call him out. Not in a crowded house. Not with his daughter around. There were always reasons and it normally just made her sad. But now? She was mad. And she’d take mad over sad. Yes, she would.

Anyway, it was easier to resist him when she was mad.

Kelly headed out a side door, into the backyard. She needed some alone time for just a few minutes so she sought the privacy, and chocolate, of the tree house.

She’d made a nice little nest up here after the girls had gotten bored with the custom play space they’d begged for. Predictable, she knew. Why not make lemonade out of those lemons?

Kelly settled in the low folding chair and pulled the pretty blue mason jar from the little built-in table.

Inside, a sensual rainbow of delight. Chocolate bars of every type, wrapped in a variety of colors and textures. Pale lavender with silver writing, midnight blue with gold stars, the saffron yellow with bold green. All her favorites.

Kelly looked to the tick marks on the inside of the lid and allowed herself to select the lavender. Salted caramel with almond. She made a quick note and closed the lid. Settling in with a sigh as she kicked off her sandals.

She slid a fingertip down the seam, baring the glossy dark chocolate inside. Six squares.

Snapping off two, she broke that in half again and that’s when Vaughan’s head popped in through the open hatch.

He started, clearly surprised to see her there. “Oh! Sorry.” He started to go. And she should have let him but instead, she called him back.

“Is everything all right?”

He popped in again. “Yes. I just...”

“Needed some quiet?” Kelly asked.

Relief flooded his face. “Yes.”

She held the candy bar his way. “Come on, then. I have chocolate.”

He gave her a look and settled in, criss-cross-applesauce style. He probably did yoga to move with such ease.

She handed over a square of chocolate and popped the other into her mouth, not letting his presence ruin the luxury of that first taste. Yum.

“Thanks for inviting my family over here. I know my mom can be...”

Kelly held a hand up to stop him. “Nope. Not going there with you. We’re not married anymore and your children are nowhere in sight. I don’t have to be nice so whatever. I don’t want to talk about her. You were all worried about Maddie. You all got hungry. My house is here. Kensey is delighted to have her uncles and grandparents here. That’s all I need to care about.”

“You’ve changed your tune.”

Seriously, her chocolate Zen was really getting messed up by this. “Not really, Vaughan. This thing with your mom isn’t about me at all. It’s about you and I’m not paying for your sins. Not anymore.” She broke off two more squares, handing him one.

“I guess that’s fair.”

“You guess.” She snorted.

He gave her a lopsided grin. “Did you take medication and sneak some wine?”

“I wish. I’m drunk on indignation, I think. It’s the only kind of libation I can have until the only Hurleys in this house are me and Kensey.”

“Why? No one is going to care.”

“I can’t get sloppy when your mother is around. I never know when she might attack.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but once the words came out, she was glad she had.

“I’m sorry. For...a lot.”

For a lot. Kelly sighed, exhausted and utterly fed up. The trickle of anger she’d been dealing with all day began to flow a lot more freely. Eight years and he still couldn’t just say it out loud.

“You’re not saying anything,” Vaughan said.

Kelly stared at him, blinking. She couldn’t have imagined anything worse for him to say at that moment. “You’re going to take that tone with me? Where the fuck have you been, Vaughan? Huh? Are you kidding me with this?”

He jerked back a little. In the past, this would have been the place she’d have apologized, even though she wasn’t at fault for anything. An ingrained response to keep her mother calm that she’d taken with her from childhood like a tic.

But she closed her mouth and refused to say she was sorry when she was most definitely not. Anger had sharpened parts of the pain of their breakup she thought she’d left in the past.

And instead of running from it, she let it slice through her. She needed to never forget what loving this man had cost her. Though she’d never trade the pleasure they’d shared to erase the pain, she couldn’t allow herself to pretend it was safe to trust him without cost.

She wasn’t willing to pay it. Not again. Not even with a lot more years and experience under her belt. She was completely beyond her ability and she couldn’t once again be in a relationship where she was far more deeply committed and invested than her partner was.

“So, okay, then. You don’t accept my apology. And I understand.”

For real? The man avoided all of this stuff for years and years and suddenly he decided to talk about it? And she was supposed to simply accept it and jump in where he was without protest?

Without even her input on whether or not she even wanted to do this right then? Ugh, his ego was insufferable. And hot, but right then insufferable. “Oh, you do?”

His eyes widened. “You’re mad.” He said it with surprise. As if he hadn’t even considered that as one of her reactions. Kelly really wished she’d have tucked a bottle of gin out here. Chocolate wasn’t enough for this.

“Yes, I’m mad!”

“That I finally apologized?”

Years later and this was how he decided to say he was sorry? No, worse, this was what he thought saying he was sorry looked like. Maybe it was that she had terrible taste in men. She needed to use one of those matchmakers. They’d do the choosing and she could avoid everyone who made her want to punch them in the junk.

But at the moment, the audacity fueled her and she gave it free rein. “I should have known that when you finally got around to it—eight years later—you’d be pissed off that someone told you to own your shit.”

She took a few moments to find the right way to say the next bit. “I’m sorry for a lot means everything and nothing at all. You should be sorry for both, I guess. But you’re here in my house and you’re acting weird and apologizing for nothing and everything and I want to know what is wrong with you?”

“I want to know what’s wrong with you,” he countered.

It would be easy to let her anger turn her into her mother. To give over to an existence that was a torrent of negativity. It was why she rarely let herself get mad. Anger was a drug. It messed up everything in your life and for everyone in it. It was a cancer. And even in small doses it was a luxury she hadn’t been able to afford.

Carefully now, though, she was ready to let some of it free. It wasn’t overwhelming, it was...real. Real enough to not get swayed by his looks, or the way she loved him still, so very much.

Pissed off was a good defense against his charm and it wasn’t junk punching, so it was a good compromise.

“You haven’t changed at all.” Which made her tired and sad. She moved to the hatch but he intercepted her, a hand at her wrist. The cramped space was usually comfortable, but right then it was confining.

“How can you say that?” He’d shifted so that he remained between her and the hatch to leave.

“Shouldn’t you be off to your show soon?” Kelly looked at a spot just over his right shoulder, telling herself it didn’t matter that he was either blind to what was happening or that he was willing to let her walk away because he couldn’t be frank.

“Not until we talk. How can you say I haven’t changed? That’s unfair, Kelly.”

She shifted her attention from that spot over his shoulder to his eyes. “This entire conversation is making me really cranky.”

Kelly spun the ring she wore on her middle finger. The familiarity of the movement enabled her to get her words together. She hoped he really listened.

“If I recall correctly, we had a version of this non-conversation conversation complete with a non-apology apology years ago. You didn’t have the balls to say what you did out loud then, either. Still getting pissy that someone other than your mother was calling you on it. Lucky for you, she’s still your number one girl and she’s just inside. Save your bullshit for her.”

Yeah, it was harsh, but no less truthful for it.

“That’s mean,” Vaughan said.

“Mean? Fuck you, Vaughan. That woman called me a whore. Because her precious son fucked his marriage up and then never had the decency to tell her the whole truth. She’s in my house, after eating at my table. For that matter, you’re in my house, too, and I haven’t set either one of you on fire yet. I’m not mean. But I’m not a doormat. Not anymore. You may not have changed, but I have.”

He paused. “I’m sorry I brought this up right now. Sorry because I have to leave shortly for the arena, like you said. Sorry because I want to talk to you honestly but now isn’t the time.”

“It never is.” She pushed against his restraining hand and he let go, moving aside so she could get out of there. Once her feet hit the grass, she hurried back inside, leaving him to do whatever it was he needed to do.

That little discussion up in the tree house had been some sort of epiphany. For years she’d told herself it didn’t matter. That it was over and done. That she had to focus on her children and building her business. And she did need to do those things. To do them still.

But this...mad bubbling up from her belly was cathartic. Invigorating. She had to call Stacey to give her the news. Her best friend had been telling Kelly for years to get mad. Now that she had, it made a difference.

Stacey would say I told you so, but it was cool. Kelly would have in her friend’s place, as well.