What Did You Say?

Kaleem’s [POV]

I watched the bonfire flames while they danced and inhaled the smell of smoke and the forest. Wolves were laughing and living in this moment of happiness all around me while I was only present physically.

It was a beautiful night, and I was surrounded by my people, but something was missing.

“Kaleem?”

I found Nazanin walking towards me, a cup in hand.

Her salt and pepper hair was in a braid down her back, and despite her grey hair, she looked like she was in her late twenties or early thirties. In truth, she was well over hundreds of years old. I was the alpha of this pack, but she was one of the oldest.

“Why do you look so distant?” she asked when she stopped beside me. “And why aren’t you drinking?”

She held the cup out to me, her brown eyes reflecting the flames, and I took it.

“I had something to drink already but thank you,” I took a sip of the cool drink, and we stood in silence for a time, watching the pack.

Every month we had a gathering like this outside for our typical rituals. I felt it promoted bonding and kept things entertaining. Our pack was cut off from the rest of the town, and we had our own stores, gym, and more, although all of Wolfcreek was our home.

But this was our territory and slice of paradise, and as alpha, I had a job to make sure my people weren’t only protected but happy. Right now, though, no amount of alcohol was capable of filling the emptiness in my chest.

Beside me, Nazanin swayed to the beat of the drums and started singing along with the she-wolf bellowing angelic tones. Several mated wolves started dancing, their bodies pressed together while they fell under the spell of the singer’s voice. I was happy for all of them to have found their other halves, whether a fated mate or chosen mate, but I didn’t have that, which made my heart heavy.

No, I once had what all these couples have. I just gave it up.

“You might need to cut Killian off,” Nazanin laughed, and I followed her line of vision to find my brother dancing with himself. “He’s had enough to drink.”

I chuckled while taking a sip from my cup. “He’s excited to be back. It’s been a year since he last visited.”

“Being an ambassador for wolves with the government is a tough job,” Nazanin said proudly. “All that traveling and being so far away from the pack, I couldn’t do it.”

My younger brother Killian was charismatic, opinionated, a pain in my ass, and the perfect wolf to work with the government to secure our rights as a species. He challenged the powers that be and with political grace that I didn’t possess.

My role as alpha was made final the second I was born first. I had a pack to lead while he played his part as one of many ambassadors leading and maintaining our place in this world. I’d never felt burdened knowing I’d one day lead the pack, and he was never interested in being alpha.

Killian was one of those rare wolves who enjoyed being away from the pack, but he came home whenever he got the chance. We were very different in that sense. Actually, we had very little in common, but nonetheless, he was my little brother.

While I was bald and had our father’s piercing grey eyes, Killian got our mother’s green eyes and dad’s black hair. He was a looker, being 6’4 with a straight face and a smile that made women of all species swoon, not to mention his long hair they insisted on touching.

As for me, so much about my physical appearance made people tense. At 6’6, plus my muscular build, I drew attention to myself just like Killian, but while he was an open book, I wasn’t. He was friendly enough for both of us, but what we had in common was a love for our pack, our species, and all species.

Life was precious, a blessing, and a treasure. All good life on earth had my protection, so I couldn’t imagine being anything other than alpha and protector.

Nazanin’s voice cut into my thoughts when she leaned over and whispered, “You know, Claudine still hasn’t been mated.”

Since she was 5’6 and among the shortest in the pack, I peeked down at her. When she looked up and found me staring, she chuckled.

“Come now, Kaleem, you knew it was coming. Why are you so set on not finding a mate? You’ve turned away all the women you’ve been introduced to, those in this pack and others.”

“Killian isn’t mated yet,” I mumbled. “I think he deserves your attention more than me.”

“Killian’s not our alpha,” she rebutted exasperatedly, and I sighed.

This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have right now, but I knew Nazanin wouldn’t let this go. Come tomorrow, she’d show up at the packhouse and continue pestering me. I’d had a few months of peace from her, but now she was digging up this conversation again.

“I’m not ready for a mate,” I replied. “That’s all.”

“That’s what you keep saying, but I saw how you were staring at the mated couples just now. The pack needs a Luna, Kaleem, as do you. Your wolf will start craving a partner soon, and a Luna will help you lead. If you’re the father of this pack, she’ll be the mother. It’s time.” Nazanin took a deep breath. “I don’t want to pressure you, Alpha. I really don’t, but while you protect, our Luna would offer guidance and warmth.”

“I know the importance of a Luna,” I grumbled, my mood plummeting further. “I had one.”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and Nazanin’s head whipped towards me so fast I thought she’d kill herself. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.

“What did you say? I’m sorry, but I’m going to need a little more detail than that.”

Holding her arm gently, I led her away from the pack. Maybe it was because of the bonfire, the couples, and the alcohol that those words had left me so quickly. Only a select few knew I’d once had a Luna and for a good reason.

My fated mate and I, we weren’t meant to be, which contradicted the whole idea of fated mates.

“I met her years ago,” I whispered when we were far enough away. Nazanin’s brown eyes glowed, but I could see her concern since I’d met my mate and she wasn’t here with us. “It’s not something I want to talk about. Hence no one knows this, but we weren’t meant to be Nazanin. That’s all, and I want you to leave it there. We had to go our separate ways.”

Her shoulders dropped with defeat, and the last of my good mood crumbled away.

“Kaleem,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

Those were the words I didn’t want to hear because she didn’t know the whole story and that I wasn’t the one that deserved sympathy.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about this,” I said while smiling as warmly as I could. “I know I’ll have to find a mate soon and make pups that will carry on my bloodline, but…”

She reached out and held my arm. “No need to explain. A broken bond between fated mates isn’t an easy one to recover from, even after years. Our pack is doing well, and we have a good alpha. We’ll be blessed with a Luna when the time’s right.”

In truth, Nazanin was already like a Luna among the pack. She helped me whenever needed, many members turned to her for guidance and wisdom, and I was eternally thankful for her.

She patted my hand and took the cup from me before turning away. I watched her leave before doing the same, for I’d had enough to drink for the night and enough of revisiting the past because now I couldn’t stop seeing her face.

Diana.

The name echoed in my mind while I walked through the forest to the packhouse. I had no idea where she was or if she was even alive.

With my hands in the pockets of my jacket, I shook my head to try and rid myself of the memories that were flooding back, but it was too late.

The ache in my chest was growing, the burn turning into a steady pulse. Nazanin was right. The loss of a mate was an endless ache, dulled over time but always there.

Interspecies relationships were more common now, and while some packs didn’t approve of it since wolves had fated mates, I allowed my wolves to be with whomever they wished. However, they did so knowing that if they ever met their fated mate, they’d have to deal with the consequences of a rejection.

But I was lucky enough to have met my fated mate and unlucky enough that we were from rival packs. She’d been like no woman I’d ever met, and we didn’t have a future.

When my phone rang, I removed it from my pocket and saw that the number was blocked.

“Hello, this is Alpha Kaleem,” I answered but got no response. “Hello?”

I moved the phone away from my ear and saw that the person was still on the line but not speaking. I stopped dead in my tracks, my heart pounding, while slowly putting the phone back to my ear.

“Diana?”

But the call ended before the word left my lips. I growled while staring down at the phone because there wasn’t a number for me to call back. Was it her?

Could it have been her?

I kept walking after a few minutes, but for the rest of the night, I kept my phone close, just in case the person called back… just in case it was her because, above all else, I needed to apologize for what I’d done.