Everyday

Diana’s [POV]

Although my eyes were closed, I saw Kaleem. I could see his grey eyes and the way the muscles in his left cheek clenched whenever he was contemplating something.

Last night when we’d come face to face after several years, seeing him had shocked my system. Old emotions I buried long ago resurfaced to mix with my hatred for him, which only made me angrier. It was odd looking at a man that had once felt like a part of me.

Colin was cruel to have asked me to do this, but that wasn’t surprising on his part. What was surprising was that I’d been able to keep it together last night—for the most part.

I’d wanted so much to punch Kaleem in the face.

The first thing he’d said to me after all these years was that he was prepared to kill my pack. In extension that meant me too. Forever the devoted alpha, and as perplexing as that was because I knew firsthand he’d put his pack over me, it was still admirable because Colin would never.

I growled.

Every good thing about Kaleem made me want to rip him to shreds because it was hard to genuinely hate him. Understanding him made it hard for me to hate him, and I wanted to hate him. It would make things so much easier.

He’d looked taller than when I’d last seen him, or perhaps my memory had changed over the years. He was as massive as ever, though, and being near him showed me just how much smaller I was or have become.

His scent… smelling his scent was like the first day I’d met him. It wasn’t something I had to recall or question like everything else. I just knew it, like I knew myself.

Around me, the wind whistled through the trees like a gentle whisper, and I took a deep breath. Strands of my hair blew across my face to tickle my skin, and I could feel the sunlight on me, beaming down from above.

Being back in Wolfcreek was a feeling I couldn’t describe. My soul was connected to this place, and it knew I was home.

My wolf was silent, not asleep but at peace, and I released my breath through my mouth.

The sound of a car approaching forced me to open my eyes, which stung a little with how bright the world around me was. But I didn’t care. All I could smell was clean air and nourished earth, but that was soon overtaken by Kaleem’s scent.

I walked out into the road, and the car approaching skidded to a halt.

With my hands in the pockets of my jacket, I stared at Kaleem through the truck’s windshield before walking to the passenger’s side and getting in.

He drove off without saying a word, and I sat in silence.

If I spoke, I’d lose it, I told myself. So keeping quiet was best. Many things were unsaid between us but now wasn’t the right time.

His scent alone had woken my wolf, who was now whimpering for him. No matter my rage, my wolf always chose to yearn for Kaleem. It made me sick because my wolf and body weren’t on the same page with my heart and mind.

No, my heart wasn’t on the same page either because it was trying to throw itself from my chest to reach the man beside me.

If I reached out a little, I’d touch Kaleem without even needing to straighten my arms. I’d feel him like I had so long ago.

I could see him white-knuckling the steering wheel in my peripheral vision, and I turned to look out the window. I wasn’t sure if his reaction to me was anger, discomfort, or both together, but I was glad he wasn’t as unaffected as his blank face said.

The silence only kept getting louder with the radio off, and I opted to watch the trees go by. We’d gone on drives like this in the past, so I knew exactly where he was taking us—away from everyone.

After a few minutes, we turned off the main road onto a path through the forest that, to others, wouldn’t look like a car would fit.

I held on while the truck dipped and shook until it stopped, and I got out before Kaleem. I didn’t wait for him. I walked ahead, knowing the way by heart, although we’d only come here a few times.

With Kaleem walking behind me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end because I could feel his eyes on me. Still, neither of us spoke until we came to a clearing with a fountain at its center. We’d found this place during one of our runs together, but the fountain had been broken and toppled over.

Later, Kaleem surprised me by restoring it, and this became our hideaway.

Without meaning to, I smiled when I saw that it was still in good condition and a bird that had been drinking from the water flew away.

“I still come here,” Kaleem said while walking around the fountain to the other side. “Everyday.”

My jaws clenched. “Will you meet with him?”

“How are you, Diana?” he asked, and I shook my head and looked away.

“Answer me. Will you meet with Colin?”

“I’ll answer when you do,” he rebutted, his eyes narrowed. “How are you?”

“How do you think I’ve been?” I replied with my hands clasped behind my back, my nails digging into my palm. “Do I look particularly great to you, Alpha Kaleem? I’ve been without a territory for years and on the run, so how do you think I am?”

I could add that my dad and I were the pariahs among my outcast pack, so we had it twice as hard. But that would open a conversation I didn’t want to have. I didn’t want Kaleem’s sympathy, just an answer so I could leave.

When he didn’t reply, I saw that my words had stung. Maybe coming to this fountain was a bad idea. I’d known where he was taking me, the history we had between us in this place, and I shouldn’t have come.

I should have gotten my answer right there on the side of the road and left. But my legs had taken me towards his car, and I’d climbed in before I knew what was happening.

“And I haven’t been Diana in a very long time,” I added with a growl. “My name is Ila.”

“You’ll always be Diana to me,” he grumbled while turning away, his hand raised to his face, and I watched as his back muscles shifted beneath his shirt.

He was a mountain… he’d once been my mountain of warmth and kindness. He’d once been everything to me. Now, this void in my soul where a part of him once occupied was growing bigger.

He used to look at me with such adoration, and now, all I saw in his eyes were pity and regret, and it was pissing me off. I wasn’t here to face my feelings or past. I was here to deliver a message, get an answer, and be hopeful that he would agree to give my pack another chance.

Then befriendly, a voice echoed in my head, and I gritted my teeth.

I was doing this not for myself but for my pack, for my dad, and while I wasn’t an alpha, I’d take a page from Kaleem’s book and do what I needed to for my people, even if it was the wrong thing for me.

“It hasn’t been easy,” I said more softly, and Kaleem’s head turned to the side to look at me over his shoulder. “We’ve been getting by, but we want to return home.”

“And Colin?” he asked while turning to face me. “Is he the same man that attacked my pack?”

Worse, that was what I wanted to say but didn’t.

“What he is, is a man that’s learned his lesson,” I answered. “He wouldn’t be foolish enough to try anything when you were a young alpha back then and kicked his ass.”

“So, that’s a yes,” Kaleem said with a smile, and I held my breath.

His eyes had glowed for a second, those beautiful grey eyes and I quickly looked away.

“Diana,” he said softly, and I stepped back when he stepped forward.

“Don’t,” I growled. “Give me an answer so I can leave, Kaleem.”

“I’m sorry for what happened between us,” he said nonetheless, and I bit down on my lip. “How things were left between us, it never should have happened like that. It shouldn’t have happened at all. I know you don’t want to talk about this, that’s clear, but I’m sorry for rejecting you. I truly am.”

“Stop,” I mumbled while staring at the ground, my wolf screaming in my head at this point. “Just stop. None of that matters anymore.”

“It matters to me,” Kaleem rebutted. “I know it matters to you despite what you’re saying.”

“You don’t know me!” I growled, and this time I held his stare. “Don’t think for a second you know me. You never did. We met and knew each other for two weeks, Kaleem. You have no idea who I am because you never gave us…”

My words trailed off, and I turned and walked away. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to feel the things I was feeling right now, the pain and longing. I only wanted the rage because it hurt less. But I was also tired of being this person, relying on hatred to feel better when it wasn’t healing me, just prolonging my suffering.

“You know what,” I turned to face him. “You don’t get to look so hurt when you rejected me! You looked me in the eye and rejected me.”

“You chose your pack!” he rebutted, and I threw my hands in the air and laughed. “I gave you a choice, me or Colin, that would sooner harm you than help or protect you. I would have taken care of you, protecting you. You would have been welcomed into my pack as my mate!” Now his eyes were burning as bright as the sun. “You would have become my Luna!”

He flicked his finger at his nose with frustration while looking around the forest. “You should have trusted me, Diana. We wouldn’t be here now.”

I said nothing, my jaws clenching so tightly my teeth felt like they’d shatter. Now wasn’t the time for this. He did what he felt was right, and I did the same, even if he couldn’t see that.

Kaleem suddenly turned towards the trees to our right, and I picked up on a familiar scent. Jackson stepped into the clearing, and Kaleem widened his stance while Jackson walked to the fountain.

Jackson had been among the group that attacked Silverdawn, and no doubt, right now, Kaleem wanted to shred him like paper.

“You weren’t sent here for this,” Jackson said while dipping his fingers into the water. He then looked at Kaleem. “Alpha Kaleem, it’s been a while.”

“Why are you here, Jackson?” I growled. “I was meant to come alone. Have you been following me?”

“Did you really think grandpa would send you alone, knowing what was once between you two?” he looked Kaleem up and down as he said so. “Whatever you’re thinking, Alpha, don’t go there. We only wish to return to Wolfcreek. Our pack members will stay far from yours, including Diana.”

“Don’t speak for me,” I said to Jackson, who turned his icy eyes on me.

“Jackson,” Kaleem finally spoke. “This is between Diana and me.”

Despite Kaleem’s face lacking any expression of annoyance or anger, I could tell he was livid by the vein popping from his neck. He was good at masking his facial expression, but the short time we’d had together years ago had been enough for me to notice a few things about him.

But there was so much more to learn. I’d told him he didn’t know me, but I didn’t know him either. The stolen moments we’d had were too few and entirely not enough.

“Nothing is between you and Diana,” Jackson shot back. “There never will be.”

I grew nervous when Kaleem’s head tilted to the side, and a small smile began to curve his lips. Even though he wasn’t Jackson’s alpha, he was still above him in rank, and in our species, alphas were to be respected.

With what happened between us, I felt I’d earned the right to be angry with Kaleem and speak as I wished, but if Jackson kept this up, he’d anger the man holding our fate in his palm. I was glad for the interruption in some sense, but not if it would lead to a fight.

I stepped between both men with my back to Jackson. “Kaleem, what’s your answer?”

He stared at me without saying anything, and I couldn’t guess what he might be thinking. He was a blank slate until his eyes moved to Jackson behind me.

“I’ll speak with your alpha,” he said, and I couldn’t hold back my sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” I told him, and for a second, his eyes softened.

I forgot Jackson was with us until he stepped to my side and then turned away without saying anything. Colin wanted Kaleem to not let us back home because that would have been the outcome if I’d allowed Jackson to continue moving his lips.

Nodding at Kaleem once, I turned to leave with Jackson and glared daggers at the back of his head.

He’d almost blown it showing up like this and beating his chest.

The thought that this egotistical fool was one day going to be Alpha was too much to bear. He was an alpha born, but not yet on the level, Kaleem was. He wasn’t even close.

If Kaleem allowed us to come home, I’d give it a few years until Jackson became alpha for us to be kicked out again because of him. But for now, this was a start towards a better future, even if it would be short-lived.

While following Jackson through the forest, I started praying to the Goddess, begging her to give Colin an ounce of humility to make use of during his meeting with Kaleem. I’d done my part, and now it was time for him to do his.

I had my own plan, though.

If Kaleem said no to the pack returning, I would get my Dad to renounce the pack one way or another. Living as rogues on the edge of Wolfcreek would be better than staying with Colin and his merry band of barbarians.