CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

He kept staring at me, he didn’t even care to be subtle about it. It felt like his eyes were glued to me. Why did I feel like he was trying to figure me out. His intense gaze was unnerving.

I wanted out and I wanted it now!

Even while he spoke to my dad, his attention never left me. I felt so confused, what was so intriguing about me??

I practically rushed through my food so I would have an excuse to leave them to their discussion and away from the preying eyes of Alpha Xiol.

As soon as my plate was empty, i internally sighed in relief. I picked up my plate and turned my attention back to them “I would leave you all to your discussion then. Good night” I said softly while bowing my head in respect.

Dad smiled at me and lovingly squeezed my hand “goodnight honey” he said. Beta Steve grinned at me like he had earlier “goodnight Hazel, hope to see more of you” he said.

While he spoke to me, Alpha Xiol glared at the side of his head murderously. That was the first time his eyes had left me since dinner began.

I used that moment as my escape and went into the kitchen to do my dishes. I hoped never to encounter him again. If just his gaze unnerved me, then I wondered what a conversation with him would be like.

Washing off the reminant of soap from my hand, I turned to exit the kitchen and nearly had a heart attack when I saw Alpha Xiol standing by the counter, his penetrating gaze focused on me.

I gulped on my saliva as I struggled on what to say or what to do. So I slightly bowed my head in acknowledgment of his presence and tried to hightail it out of the kitchen.

The key word was tried

“Hazel” his deep husky voice called out to me and I swear I nearly lost my footing. It was the first time he directly spoke to me.

I slowly turned around but my head stayed down, I wanted to avoid his eyes as much as I could. I heard him growl lowly and I felt slightly afraid.

“Can I get some wine glasses, your father and I want to discuss over a bottle” he said softly surprising me.

I nodded my head vigorously, “of course, of course” I said in almost a squeak. Oh my God, this was so embarrassing.

I quickly rushed to the lower cabinet were I kept some wine glasses, usually they were meant to be on the upper one but being a five foot two inches tall lady had its hard days, so dad had agreed to leaving them in the lower one after much teasing.

Opening the cabinet, I was surprised to see some tea mugs in it rather than the wine glasses. Dad must have done this to tease me, but lord! This wasn’t the right time.

I stood on the tip of my toes to reach the upper cabinet and smiled when I successfully opened it. My victory didn’t last long when I noticed the wine glasses were a bit further inside… I wanted to scream at my dad.

Still struggling to reach the glasses I felt and saw strong hands reach over mine to get them. My breath hitched, I had briefly forgotten about Xiol in my struggle to get the glasses that I didn’t know when he came so close.

His body was pressed on mine, and I had to admit that I had never felt someone as fit as him. Not like I’ve felt a lot of men anyways, but I was sure that he was more fit than most guys I’ve seen.

I was pushed out of my thought when I felt his face sink into my hair. Was he smelling me?

Why was he smelling me?

I became so self conscious and realized that him being so pressed to me meant he could fill my body fat and all my rolls.

My body released an involuntary whimper that made him move away from me. Every other female would have been happy to have him pressed on her but I couldn’t afford to live such dream. I mean look at me, my body was not much of an attraction.

I once again tried to rush out of the kitchen but was stopped by the hand that reached and held onto mine. Shocked by his action, I looked up and meet his eyes.

He had a somewhat pained expression on his face but his face was mostly blank of any other expression that I found it hard to understand what must have been going on in his head.

“Hazeal–” he called out softly to me, his mouth opened and closed and then opened and closed again. If I didn’t know about his reputation already, I would have thought that he was struggling with words.

He suddenly let my hands go and shook his head. I felt so confused, I wanted to cry; but I swallowed my shame and whispered a good night to him and dashed out of the kitchen like my pants were on fire.

?

It was the day before the mating fest ceremony and my pack was booming with life as people from other packs walked about site-seeing. I could already see some males flirting with some females from my pack.

Love was in the air but not part of the air I breath. I felt my shoulder slump, I’ve been trying my very best not to feel depressed. Depression was never a good thing for me, it was filled with blood and toxic satisfaction.

I’ve tried helping myself and I could say I have improved. It’s been weeks since I last self harmed and I was slightly proud of myself. I have been resisting all thoughts that lead me down that path.

I continued weaving through the small crowd towards the pack house. I wanted to make the last minute arrangements with my dad so that I wouldn’t have to stay long at the mating fest ceremony tomorrow.

As I got close to the main entrance, I sighted Alpha Xiol talking to my pack’s beta. I quickly halted my footstep and changed direction towards the back entrance.

Ever since that night which was two days ago, I’ve been very mindful of crossing paths with him and so far I’ve been successful.

So lost in my thoughts, I bumped into someone. I opened my mouth to apologize but before I could say the word, I was shoved so hard I nearly lost my footing.

I was so shocked, my mouth was left agap. I looked up to meet the eyes of a very angry Kevin. My shock turned to fear, no not him.

“Watch where you are going pig” he snarled at me. I felt my eyes water.. no Hazel don’t cry. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bump into you” I wisphered out.

He mockingly mimicked me and rolled his eyes “you chased your mother first and now you want to bulldoze me with that thing you call a body?” He snarled louder getting closer to my face.

“ n…no” I said shaking my head vigorously as tears rushed down my eyes. He hissed “ I don’t have time for this” he said shoving me to the side and walked off.

I quickly tried to run away in shame but as I looked around I realized that what just happened had caught the attention of many people around including Alpha Xiol.

I sobbed harder. No no… now he knows, he knows about my mother, why she left. Why did this have to happen in front of him..

I ran as my legs could carry me, but just before I disappeared from his line of sight I saw his fist clenched and heard his low growl. He must hate me now, not like he liked me before but whatever interest he had in me must have died the moment he heard all Kevin had to say.

My mind must have been thinking of a safe zone because my legs carried me to my house. I ran up to my room and settled on the bed crying.

Trust the worst things to happen to me, I thought. Bringing out my blades from were I had abandoned them, I pulled down my jeans and began my journey of toxic relief once more.

So much for resisting temptations.