Chapter 10

With all the unpleasantness done, I went in search of food. It hadn’t been that long since I’d eaten, but I wasn’t giving the wolf any chances to take the upper hand. Claudia and I went to the kitchen, and Raphael left to go do something. I didn’t ask what.

The kitchen hadn’t been redone in forever. It wasn’t eighties old, it was like thirties old. White tile lined the countertops and thick iron handles were mounted on the white cabinets. None of the doors closed properly, all of them hung a little open and drooped just a smidge. A round table with four chairs took up one corner and a backdoor led outside. Even though it was small, the space was efficiently used, and it had a ton of cabinets. The pale yellow paint was trimmed around the top with flowered wallpaper. It was peeling back along the edges, but it still had some vibrant colors. I could almost picture Mom growing up here, but that didn’t mean it felt like home.

I opened the fridge and sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“We’re going to need more food.”

“What?” Claudia peeked around my shoulder. “I got twice as much stuff as I usually get just in case you stayed with us.”

“I could eat all of this in a day.” I closed it. “So, am I allowed to leave the compound? Because we’re going to need to hit a Sam’s as soon as possible.”

“Really? You eat that much food? But you’re so little.”

I pulled up my shirt to show her my abs. “I’m a little skinny for the Weres. I still don’t eat as much as I should, which makes me a little thinner than normal, but I’m all muscle.” I dropped my shirt. “I wasn’t always like this. I used to have curves. Come to find out, Weres have a super high metabolism.”

“So when you go to McDonald’s you get what? Three meals?”

“Five.”

“Madre santa. That’s crazy. Okay. I have no idea how much to get for you and I’m not sure that Luciana is going to let you leave so soon after you got here.”

This wasn’t something that could be ignored. There was no way the coven was going to let another Were onto the compound, but I had someone who could help.

I pulled my cell out of my back pocket, but as promised, I had zero bars. “Do you have a landline?”

“Sure, but I have to get Luciana to turn it on.” Claudia pointed to the antique mounted to the wall next to the back door.

That seemed like the craziest thing. “She has a switch for the phones?”

Claudia nodded. “In her living room. Keeps it all locked up.”

“Doesn’t that seem a little overboard?”

“Yes. One of the many reasons why we need some change.” She paused. “I hate to ask, but I’m going to have to tell Luciana—who are you going to call?”

I thought about it for a second. I wanted to call Dastien, but no way would Luciana go for that. “My mom. She’ll make a grocery run for me.”

“Okay. Just give me a second. I’ll explain it to her.” Claudia headed for the door. “Be back in a sec.”

I paced around the room, getting more annoyed by the second. What if there was an emergency? A fire or someone hurt or something? The compound was way too cut off from civilization. That didn’t seem safe.

Claudia gave me a thumbs-up when she came back. “We’ve got five minutes.”

Luciana was unbelievably stingy. I ground my teeth, trying to stay calm. “Great.” I quickly dialed Mom’s cell and tapped my fingers along the wall as it rang. “Hey, Mom,” I said when she finally answered.

“What’s going on? Where are you calling from? Are you okay?”

I sighed. She said the same thing every time she answered the phone these days. I wished for once I were calling just to chat. “I’m on the coven land and—”

“Why are you there? I thought I told you—”

“It’s dangerous. I know, but the Tribunal didn’t exactly go my way. I have to stay here until the next full moon.”

Mom gasped. “No. Mija. That’s not okay. I’m on my way. I’ll talk to Luciana. She can’t—”

“Mom. Calm down. It’s fine.” I paused. That was total bullshit. “It’s not fine. It sucks, but I’ve agreed to put up with it. The bigger problem is that I can’t leave and there’s not enough food here. I’ll eat everything in a day, and I…I need it. Dastien’s not here and my wolf is on edge and…”

“I’ll go to the store,” she said, understanding what I was asking without having to ask it. “I’ll bring enough to stock the fridge and will keep coming as often as you need.”

I closed my eyes and leaned against the counter. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Don’t worry about a thing. Mama’s here. I’ll take care of it.”

The tears from earlier threatened to come back, but I blinked them away. “Thanks.” It seemed no matter how old I got, I still needed my mother sometimes. I was lucky to have her so close by. “I really appreciate it.”

“Te quiero mucho. See you soon.”

“Are you okay?” Claudia said when I put the phone back.

I raised an eyebrow at her. “Seriously? You’re asking me this question?”

“Right.” She looked at the ground. “I understand you’re mad. I’m sorry.”

“You forced my hand when you could’ve asked nicely. I understand that you’re not in a good place, but I liked you. I would’ve done everything I could to help you. Now, I want to get this done and go back to my life.”

She nodded, still staring at the ground.

Being a bitch to her felt like kicking a puppy, but I couldn’t help it. I was pissed. It didn’t have to be this way. “Let’s talk about what we’re going to do next.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you need a new leader. Let’s start there. Who do you think is a good candidate?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. That’s the problem. No one is even close to Luciana’s strength in magic.”

“And that’s one of the requirements?”

“No. Not exactly.”

“How about you tell me exactly while I make myself a snack?” I opened the fridge and pulled out cheese, ham, and an avocado for a grilled sammy. I made myself at home as I started cooking. Once I had everything in a pan, I looked over my shoulder at Claudia.

She hopped onto the counter. “Right. Rules. There’s always a leader and a successor, so the current leader picks someone to be third in line. Grams picked you and once Luciana stepped down, she was supposed to name your successor, but that’s all changed now. And Grams is—”

“Unreachable.” Maybe it was snippy, but I was a little tired of being manipulated. I needed real solutions. “So what happens in this kind of scenario?”

“Luciana should pick someone, but we don’t want that to happen. That’s why there’s always a break in succession. No one person’s will or agenda gets pushed on two generations. And since we’re extremely divided about some of the things Luciana’s been doing…we’re in a bit of a bind. You’re strong enough that you could pick your replacement, and I think if we position it correctly, then we could get the support of the whole coven.”

“Sounds reasonable. So I know you have to have some sort of sight like my visions in order to rule.”

“Exactly. And Luciana’s visions used to be kind of weak, but she’s been getting stronger lately. Which is weird.”

“Wait. Why is her getting stronger weird?”

“Because once you reach a certain age, your affinity or abilities start to settle or even lessen. But with Luciana, it’s the opposite. That’s another reason we’re divided. The few in our faction suspect she’s using dark magic to boost her power and most in the coven want no part in that.”

I checked my sammy. Perfectly golden. I tossed some more butter in the pan as I flipped it.

“Wow. That looks really amazing.”

“Want me to make you one?”

She shook her head. “No. I eat something like that and I have to eat nothing but lettuce and work out for days to burn it off.”

“Right. Well, I have the opposite problem. It gets old, this whole eating all the time thing. I kept almost losing control of my wolf before. But now, as long as I eat I’m pretty okay. Me and the wolf have an understanding.”

Claudia pressed her lips together for a second, as if carefully considering what I’d said. “It’s weird hearing you talk about the wolf that way.”

I shrugged. “It’s weird to me, too, but that’s the only way I know how to describe it.” I checked the sammy. Not quite toasty. “So, who here has abilities that could be considered leadership material?”

“No one. That’s the problem. I’ve even asked friends in nearby covens, but they won’t respond. They’re too afraid of Luciana.”

I snorted. “She’s such a bitch.” I thought for a second. “What about you?”

Her mouth dropped open. “Me?” She pointed to herself like there was anyone else in the room I could’ve been talking about.

“Yeah. When we first met, you helped me find Dastien. That could be a good start.”

She shook her head. “That’s nothing. I helped amplify your own powers.”

“What about Raphael?”

“He’s good at spells. Other than that…”

“Poor guy.” I winked at her.

Claudia laughed.

My sammy was done. I put it on the plate and cut it in half. The bread gave a lovely crunch as the knife sliced through it. “Do you have any chips?”

“Yeah.” She hopped off the counter and opened a cabinet. “Snacks are all in here.” She pulled a bag of tortilla chips and a bag of Cheetos. “I also have Limón potato chips, and pretzels.”

“I’ll take the Cheetos.” I grabbed a root beer from the fridge and sat down.

Cooking for myself was going to be a pain in the ass. How was I going to get anything done? I suddenly yearned for the cafeteria and stocked common room fridge.

I could do this. I had to. Losing control here would cost too much. “So, you don’t have any leads, no covens will help us, and we can’t talk to Grams.”

Claudia tilted her head. “That’s not entirely accurate.”

I set the sandwich down. “What part?”

She looked off to the side, slowly nodding as she thought about it. “We could talk to Grams.”

“What, like have a séance? Use a Ouija board? What are we talking about here? And isn’t that really scary? I mean, I don’t know about you, but the kinds of scary movies that give me nightmares start out with something like that. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being chased by demons.”

She slashed her hand through the air. “It’s a little dangerous, but manageable. With the right spell.”

I couldn’t believe I was actually considering this. “Any chance we can do it during daylight hours?” I shuddered.

“No. We’ll get Raphael and a few of the others to help, too. If we can make sure to get just Grams, then we should be fine. And we’ll ward the house to keep out evil entities.”

Evil entities? “This sounds like a terrible idea.”

“What sounds like a terrible idea?” Raphael said as he came through the kitchen door.

“Your sister wants to have a séance to find out if Grams has any ideas on a replacement for me.”

“No.” He didn’t even think about it. There was no hesitation in his voice whatsoever. “That’s way too dangerous.”

Claudia hunched her shoulders. “Even if—”

“No.”

The twins stared each other down for a minute before Claudia conceded. “Fine. But I still say it’s an option.”

I finished my sandwich and wiped off my fingers. “What do you think Luciana’s really up to? If she’s threatening war with the pack and gaining power in a bad way, then she has to have a plan.”

“We don’t know,” Raphael said. “There’s been some major discontent brewing in the coven for years, but now…it’s reached a fever pitch. It’s crazy. And it’s not just Luciana. It’s people I thought were normal, chill, before. Now, they’re all crazed.” He shook his head. “It’s not right. And it’s not right that we cornered you into this, but we need whatever help we can get.”

He was right. It was messed up, but we had to get past that. There had to be a solution, but I didn’t know enough to figure it out yet.

I got up and busied myself cleaning up my dishes. When I was done, I turned back to the twins who were quietly whispering about what to do or not do with me next.

Sometimes having Were hearing was a little awkward. Or completely awkward.

I cleared my throat. “I’m just going to go upstairs and get settled. We can figure out the next step once I get unpacked and my mom brings more food.”

“Okay,” they said in unison.

The good thing about packing light meant I could pack up quickly if I got the okay to leave early. The bad thing about packing light was that I was unpacked pretty quickly. I opened my laptop and tried to connect to the Wi-Fi in the house, but all I got was an endlessly spinning ‘looking for networks’ notification.

This was going to be a long three weeks. I already felt like I was crawling out of my skin. Being without my connection to Dastien was like missing a limb I hadn’t realized was attached before. The absent bond was a constant pull and distraction. A scab I couldn’t stop picking at.

It was gross and awful. But I had to get a grip.

I started doing some vinyasas—practicing the yoga that Meredith said would keep me centered, trying to gain the upper hand back from the wolf that wanted to break free. The floorboards creaked as I moved through my sun salutations. I focused on my breath moving evenly and the sound of the wood moaning as I flowed from position to position.

Midway through my fourth downward dog, I laughed. Weres were so weird. The past few months felt so surreal. I still couldn’t believe that I’d actually nearly killed Imogene. When the wolf was fully in control of my human body, I wasn’t myself, and that was dan-ger-ous. I was starting to get used to the occasional fight. The alphas were pretty good about keeping everyone under control, but the freshman—the newbies—had to be watched a lot.

For what felt like the millionth time that day, I wondered what I’d gotten myself into. I’d been drawn into this weird world that I was expected to know how to navigate, and I simply didn’t. I hadn’t the foggiest.

The pressure to figure it all out was a heavy weight on my chest. The stakes were too high and I’d sacrificed too much for me to fuck this up. And of course, the probability of fucking up was unusually high.

I sighed. If I made it off coven land without killing anyone or getting killed, I’d call it a win.