Needed

There was a bit of a limp in her walk but I was sure I imagined it. That or the shoes on her feet were too tight. She led me through the packhouse doors. I’ve never been in here before. The only time I came around here was when I had to fill in for Mitch’s nephew, which wasn’t often, and I was never permitted inside. I usually met the kitchen staff out front or by the entrance to the kitchen.

White stone walls stretched two stories high, her shoes clicked against the floor, white trim followed us as we walked into a room that had two mahogany double doors on each side. Everything was so white, so clean here, as clean as her. I didn’t care to take in my surroundings, I kept my gaze on her and her hair that bounced as she walked.

She came to a stop in front of dark wooden stairs that seemed to lead up to the Goddess herself. She yanked at my arm and my feet moved by her command. We headed up the insanely long set of steps. Surprisingly enough, we didn’t pass anyone on the way. I was pulled through a door that towered over our heads. She let go of my arm to close and bolt the door.

Why did she have a bolt on her door?

It reminded me of a time before I came here. A bolt would have come in handy but I hadn’t been lucky enough to have one then. It seemed like a different life, worries, fears, and anxiety I haven’t felt in awhile flooded in. Why would the Alpha’s daughter have to fear that? I tried to ignore the voice that said the Alpha’s son had to worry about it, why wouldn’t she? It was the first thing that came to my mind but not everyone had experienced what I went through.

She shook her head and muttered to herself as she passed by me. I stared in awe at the shelves that surrounded her room. Floor to ceiling mahogany shelving began at both sides of her door and ran the length of the room. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling with eight small bulbs. A stone fireplace with wolves etched into the frame stood at about five feet tall. It was the large open window that ran from one side of the wall to the other that caught my eye. The view from her bed was spectacular. My eyes stopped their roaming when they landed on her as she stood across from a vanity in the corner.

Her hair swayed with her movements as she muttered to herself. She shuffled through her drawer and pulled out medical supplies. Those were hard to come by. Only the packhouse doctor had access to those and even then, they didn’t just give those out. Being the Alpha’s daughter didn’t even mean she could just have them on demand. For her to have a stash in her room made me wonder if she was ill.

“Why do you have those?” I asked cautiously.

She froze at my question before our eyes locked in the mirror. She didn’t turn to me, instead, she lowered her eyes to the supplies. She ignored my question and continued grabbing out a few more things.

“Sit,” she demanded as she glared at me in the mirror.

“Someone’s demanding,” I teased.

I couldn’t help but smile at her tone. She turned to me, there was that look again, the one that burned. I liked her looking at me with that look in her eyes. She huffed and shook her head at me.

“I have a boy in my room. Do you know what would happen if people found out I brought you here? What would happen if Vanessa came here and found you? Goddess, if Father found you in here, we would both be dead.”

“I told you to take responsibility. I never told you to bring me into your room,” I said. “What are your intentions?” I wrapped my arms around myself and gave her an innocent look. If I could even do that.

“Where else would I have taken you? Somewhere everyone can see us together? At least only Agatha saw us. She won’t do anything that would put me in trouble or harm me. I can’t be seen touching you, Goddess, I can’t even be seen talking to you!” Her eyes widened and her vision glazed over as the worst scenario possible played out in her mind.

“You could have just left me then.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” she hissed.

“You don’t know me. You don’t owe me anything.”

“You were hurt because of me. I’ll tend to your wounds and then you can leave. My debt to you will be paid and we’ll never have to see each other ever again,” she said coldly. My heart dropped at her words.

What did I expect? She was royalty and I was… well… I was just a butcher.

I ignored the voice that whispered I could be more if I so much as wished it. All I had to do was go back and claim what I had discarded. I didn’t have to be a butcher. If I really wanted more I could just go back.

I would never amount to anything. My own parents didn’t want me. Why did I think anyone else could ever want me? Why did I think that she would want me? As if I’d ever be good enough to be wanted. How could I have forgotten that I only had one person, I only needed one person in my life. My sister was all I needed.