A man who regrets his divorce

By Elizabeth

—Things have been going badly for a long time, it's best if we get a divorce.

-What are you taking about?

I ask her in amazement.

—You never understand when I talk to you!

—Gonzalo, please, I understand you're stressed, Matías is jealous of my pregnancy, of his new little sister, but divorce?

—Yes, don't worry, you keep the house, Matías, and of course the baby you're carrying inside you.

—Are you serious?

—I've never been more serious in my life, what we have is over.

—Do you have someone else?

—That has nothing to do with it.

I looked at him in despair.

He can't be the same person who made me fall in love years before.

I understand that I got pregnant very soon, even though we were dating.

But we were in love and we got married.

I was 22 when I got pregnant, 23 when Matías was born and he is already 5 years old. We were trying for my second pregnancy, I am 7 and a half months, 34 weeks.

I am 28 years old and I met Gonzalo when I was studying at university.

I was finishing my journalism degree at that time.

I had also completed two years of law studies along with the first two years of journalism, then I quit law because it was too difficult and because I needed to work; I didn't have enough time to study two degrees and work.

That's when I met him.

I worked as a presidential secretary at a company, and Gonzalo is the best friend of the owner of the import company where I worked.

Gonzalo is a biochemist.

He owns a laboratory where products for one of the country's most recognized brands are manufactured.

He's 4 years older than me, he just turned 32.

The laboratory is a family business; it was founded by his grandfather.

It's true that I've noticed him being a bit distant lately, let's say he's been like this for the last 3 months.

Just when my pregnancy started to show.

I don't think it's the right time for us to separate, even though he feels that our relationship has run its course.

We never had any major problems.

We loved each other, or so I thought.

For me, he is the love of my life.

We've been married for 6 years.

My hands are trembling.

Are you confused?

—No, I don't love you anymore.

My horror grew second by second, as did the immense pain I feel in my heart.

I sat down.

A contraction took hold of my being.

—Put all my clothes in some suitcases, I'm leaving tonight.

I couldn't answer.

My tears, those that had been struggling to come out for an hour, won the battle.

—Stop crying, you're not going to make me stay, you just make me look more pathetic.

—You pack your own suitcase.

I managed to answer him.

I definitely have no idea what's going through her head to abandon us like this, all of a sudden.

He did not deny that another woman had crossed his path.

If that's the case, he's a real coward for abandoning me with such an advanced pregnancy and a 5-year-old child, his own son.

—You won't lack anything.

He repeated.

—For now, it doesn't seem convenient to see Matías. Besides, I'm going to take a few months to travel the world. I've always wanted to do it, and when you're not pregnant, you're focused on your son.

—Our son.

-One way or the other.

—You always loved Mati.

—I still love him, but I'm young and I want to enjoy life.

-I'm sorry.

—What do you regret?

—In the person you've become, you're right, it's best if we separate.

I notice that he is surprised by my words.

He obviously has someone else.

I will not beg for his love even if I am dying.

Nor can I force him to love me.

Not even to love our son.

I won't even mention the baby I'm carrying inside me; it's actually a girl. I went to the last ultrasound alone; she couldn't come with me.

I smile.

How naive I was!

He didn't even ask me about the baby's sex.

Now it all clicks for me, all those nights he came home late, when he told me he was staying to work.

And it's been...3 months since we last made love.

He definitely has another woman.

He doesn't even want to see Matías.

I don't know how I'm going to manage tomorrow when I tell her that her father no longer lives with us and that she won't see him for a while.

I don't want to know who that woman is, or what she looks like.

Not even where he met her.

I don't think he's better than me, not because I think I'm perfect, but because I'm a good person, I love my son and my newborn baby, and although he says that I was always looking out for our son, which on the other hand is true, I was also looking out for him.

Even though we have domestic help, I always took care of the house; he didn't want me to work because our child was small.

But we kept going out.

I accompanied him to work meetings, we met up with friends, and we even went dancing or to a hotel.

I always kept the flame of passion alive in our marriage, or at least that's what I thought.

I am a beautiful woman, I am 1.70 meters tall, I am slim and have a good figure, a small waist, a nice butt and an interesting, medium bust, more big than small.

I am blonde, with light blue eyes.

I always dress up.

Of course I don't walk around my house in 15-centimeter heels while pregnant.

But he never found me even with my hair a mess.

We got along very well in bed, more than that, excellently.

Or at least that's what I thought.

It definitely shouldn't have been like that.

When did all this happen?

Gonzalo has an indifference towards me that I've never seen before.

I could never have imagined that today, when he came into the house, he was going to tell me that he was leaving me.

More than that, she wants a divorce.

I don't want to think about the woman he has next to him, but I can't help it.

She may be very beautiful, sure, but I am beautiful myself; there are millions of women more beautiful than me.

He can be younger.

I gave him my youth, although I am still young.

I don't think that alone is a reason for such a breakup, to end a long-standing marriage.

He must give her much more in bed than I do, however, we were enveloped by a boundless passion.

I accompanied him in each and every decision regarding the company.

When he decided to stop talking to his father because his father remarried after his mother passed away and he had an existential crisis, because he couldn't understand that his father, who had been married to his mother for 30 years, would remarry despite being a widower, I made him understand that his father had the right to rebuild his life, that the woman he chose wasn't going to erase the memories of his mother, and that he should give him a chance.

And now he forgot how much he loved his mother and that he wanted his father to be alone for the rest of his life.

At that time, he said that a marriage is forever.

Ha ha.

I'm stunned.

I don't feel well at all.

It all sounds fake to me.

I must be the only one who loves in this marriage.

Who knows how many times he cheated on me?

I'm not going to be one of those women who live crying and begging their man.

We talked about it, I never would have expected such a huge betrayal from him.

I want him to leave now.

I'm not going to cry in front of him, even though some tears had already escaped me.

If he needed more excitement, he probably always had it.

That hurts me.

We were a family.

—Change your attitude, you're not going to make me stay.

—I'm not going to ask you to stay, I'm just not doing well, I love you and until two hours ago I believed you loved me, that we were a family.

—Things have changed, feelings aren't forever.

—Obviously they're not forever for you, but don't forget we have two children.

—The second one wasn't born.

—It exists.

—Not for me.

-What are you taking about?

—I never saw him and Matías is too attached to you, they are more your children than mine.

—If you want to shirk your responsibility as a father, that's one thing, but you are the father and I am the mother.

Meanwhile, he was keeping all his clothes; he didn't want to leave even a pair of socks behind.

—That's your way of seeing things, I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry because they're waiting for me.

—If she's half the woman I am, consider yourself lucky.

—You became envious and resentful.

—Don't say hurtful words because at some point you'll regret having said them.

—I say what I want, and forgive me for not loving you.

—I understood that an hour ago, and I'm not going to tell you that it doesn't hurt because I would be lying, it hurts like nothing has ever hurt me before in my life, but if you don't love me, the best thing is for us to separate.

I see a storm in her eyes again.

He's not even the gentleman he was until a few months ago.

We planned my second pregnancy; we both agreed that we didn't want the baby to be too far apart in age from Mati.

I'm heartbroken.

I'm trying to stay calm about my pregnancy, which he didn't take into account.

My world changed a few hours ago.

I know the worst will come tomorrow, when I talk to Matías.

—What do I tell Mati?

—Whatever you can think of, I have a long trip ahead of me.

—Does he want to talk to you?

—Tell him I'm busy, think of something, I'll be busy, enjoying myself.

I don't know why he needs to hurt me even more.

I wanted him to leave.

My life is chaos.

It seemed like a fairy tale.

I had my prince, but he was a prince of clay.

I look at him with pain, with great pain.

—I'm leaving. If you need anything, talk to my secretary or my father, or his wife. You have a checking account where I'll deposit the money.

—Good luck, I hope things go well for you and that you never regret this moment.

I put my hands to my belly; I was having a contraction.

If he realized what was happening to me, he hid it.

He went to the garage with one suitcase and came back for another, then a second, and then a third.

He didn't go through Matías's room.

That hurt me even more.

—I won't regret it.

I smiled sadly; I can't tie him to my life.

I feel very bad for Matías, because he adores him.

A little less for my princess, because even if at some point she longs to have a father, at least she won't wake up one day alone, without him.

I don't understand what I did so wrong.

I can understand that he might have been attracted to another woman, and even that he might have cheated on me—we're all human, I'm pregnant, and I must be very unattractive right now. But to leave me? To want a divorce…?

Is his lover pregnant?

I say lover, because even he admitted that someone was waiting for him.

That thought made me even more distressed.

Even though I was talking about enjoying life and she criticized me for having children...