03

I pondered her question, thinking hard about it. While Nathan’s past was something I’d come to accept, it still made me uneasy to think of him in that way. That was natural, though, I suppose ; what girl would be happy imagining her boyfriend taking drugs, smoking his way to black lungs, and having sex with tons of girls ?

« I honestly don’t know, » I replied. « That’s the truth. A lot of our relationship has been based on him changing. He’s taken a lot of time and effort to prove he’s transformed so that he’s a decent, honest guy now, and that I should therefore have a reason to trust him. If he hadn’t changed then, obviously, he wouldn’t have gone out of his way so much to prove how much he values me… But… »

« …But it’s weird to think that you might never have gotten together with him ? »

« Yeah, very weird, » I agreed. « But the Nathan I love is the one who changed, the one who put in all that effort… It was so heart-warming to see and actually made me believe he genuinely did care about me, otherwise why bother ? It encouraged me to give him a shot. Maybe I wouldn’t have fallen in love with the old one because I wouldn’t have had any desire to get to know him. It makes me feel sick to think it, but he’d have been a different person, right ? »

Jasmine cocked her head to the side as she considered this. « I suppose it depends what made you fall in love with him. Also, you never know, you might have ended up being the spark that caused him to change. »

I smirked. « Isn’t that fate ? »

She returned my smirk. « I’m sure there’s a more scientific, or even romantic, term for it. »

I laughed, but the thoughts of a potentially different future still played on my mind. It was true ; I did feel sick to imagine that Nathan and I might not have ended up together. Perhaps Jasmine was right, though : maybe we would have met at a different time, and that chemistry would have still been there and caused him to reconsider his carefree ways. Nathan did change on his own accord, after all, because of his sister’s accidental pregnancy. All that stuff would have still have happened-he’d still have matured eventually-and then hopefully our relationship would still have developed.

Shaking my head, I took a sip of my prosecco. « Let’s change the subject. All this parallel universe stuff blows my mind. »

Jasmine laughed. « Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get so deep. I think it’s just nice to see that people can turn their lives around. I hate the concept of needing someone to fix you, but love the idea that someone could have the kind of positive influence that encourages you to change on your own accord, you know ? »

I shuddered at that. « Absolutely. »

« I’m yet to meet Nathan, but I already respect him. »

I smiled in appreciation. « I’m sure you’ll like him. »

« I’m sure I will, » she agreed.

If I got along with Jasmine, then Nathan certainly would. There was nothing in particular to dislike about her, although I could see certain people being offended by the strong opinions and promiscuity-but Nathan would never judge her for having an active sex life.

As this thought crossed my mind, another one simultaneously crept in, prompted by our previous conversation and challenging my previous reassurance.

Once upon a time, Nathan shared Jasmine’s view of sex, although perhaps for different reasons to hers. Nevertheless, would she remind him of his former self ? In a good way, or a bad one ?

Nathan had gone from sleeping with multiple girls, to sleeping with just one : me. And now we were in a long-distance relationship, meaning that he’d be getting even less sex than usual. He’d come to visit me, see how Jasmine was still getting plenty of action, and would that make him nostalgic ?

Lifting my glass to my lips, I washed down the thought with my prosecco. These were just natural long-distance worries. Of course Nathan would miss the sex ; we were used to having regular sex, after all. But I knew I could trust him. I just needed to think of a way to make up for the loss of intimacy…

« What you thinking about ? » Jasmine asked.

I fleetingly wondered about lying, but decided against it. If anyone could handle the personal truth, it was her.

« Sex. »

Her lips curled into a knowing smile and she raised her glass in toast towards me.

« I know the feeling, » she said.

I’d have had to have been living in a hole-not Italy-in order to remain blissfully unaware of the scepticism surrounding long-distance relationships. Sadly, it seemed that, these days, everyone was more vocal in expressing their unfounded doubts regarding it, rather than adopting a more positive or encouraging attitude.

Countless people had raised a cynical eyebrow when I’d told them I was intending to maintain my relationship while living abroad, almost to the extent that it became annoying. It was as though they were belittling your relationship by saying that it was pointless attempting to keep a romance alive when you weren’t living in the same country. By the same token, they were calling you naive and suggesting that it was silly to believe a long-distance relationship had even the remotest potential of working out.

For the most part, I brushed it off with a smile and said that we’d be giving it a go regardless, but what their sceptical reactions actually did was fill me with a fiery desire to prove them wrong. I knew Nathan and I could succeed at this. I knew we were strong enough. Without doubt, it would be difficult at times, but we’d pull through. Then, when we came out the other side, we could face those sceptics with a smile and say to them, « turns out long distance does work, after all. »

I was a bundle of excitement as I waited in the arrivals hall at the airport. The large screen informed me that Nathan’s flight had finally landed, and I knew it was just a matter of minutes before he walked through those glass doors and we were reunited.

Although three weeks wasn’t a huge amount of time to go without seeing one another, it had felt even more intense because of the long-distance situation. Italy and England were more than a train ride away and that instantly made it feel like we were properly separated from each other. On top of that, my first couple of weeks here had been shaky as I tried to find my feet and get used to Italy’s many quirks, so it had made me crave Nathan’s company and soothing words.

Each time the doors slid open, my heart did a little somersault at the prospect of seeing him walk through. It was, in fact, a decent fifteen minutes later before he emerged, towing his little suitcase behind him. I could instantly tell that something about the flight had irked him but he put a smile on his face as he noticed me behind the barrier, and sped up his pace to greet me.

« Bella. » He grinned, letting go of his case to wrap his arms around me.

I wound my own arms around his body, nestling my head in his chest as I inhaled his familiar aftershave. For the first time in two weeks, I felt properly content and relaxed.

As we pulled out of the embrace, Nathan lowered his mouth to mine and gave me a long kiss that would have embarrassed me if we’d been anywhere other than an arrivals hall in an airport.

« How’s it going ? » he asked me with a cheery smile.

From his expressive eyes, I could tell he was just as happy to see me. I didn’t doubt Nathan would miss me, but I knew this experience was going to hit me harder than him. I was the one in an unfamiliar place, by myself ; not much in Nathan’s life had really changed apart from my location.

« Not too bad, » I told him. « How was the flight ? »

« Urgh, » he scoffed as we headed out of the airport. « EasyJet. What a fucking joke. »

« What happened ? »

« They made me put my bag in the hold. » He shook his head to himself. « It pisses me off because there’s no point giving passengers set dimensions for hand luggage if they’re gonna make some people put it in the hold anyway. It’s just an absolute shambles-so disorganised. We then missed our take-off slot and were just chilling on the tarmac for half an hour. »

« Well, you’ve not come to the right place if you don’t like disorganisation, » I warned him, perching on a wall to wait for the bus.

« Oh, thanks for the heads up ; I’ll say my goodbyes now, then, » he teased, wrapping an arm around me and planting a rough kiss on my forehead.

« I’m sorry your first journey here wasn’t great, » I said, my voice quiet as I worried it would put him off travelling out here.

Nathan laughed softly. « Bella, don’t apologise ; it’s fine. I’ll just fly BA next time. They’re an airline that knows what they’re doing. »

« I don’t think they fly from Gatwick to Bologna. They only go from Heathrow. It’ll be more expensive. »