Chapter 10

Biting cold, then...nothing but a strange numbness. Pike inhaled roughly as he turned his face away from the slapping waves, giving Avery a shaky smile. The other sub was tough, but with how pale his lips were as he struggled to help Pike keep his head above water, he couldn’t keep this going for much longer.

“Go, Avery. Just a few steps and you can dry off a bit. Get warm.” Pike spat and coughed as his mouth filled with salty water. “Anything happens to you and I won’t have to worry about drowning, Rhodey will fucking gut me.”

Shaking his black strands away from his brow, Avery frowned at him, adjusting them both to give Pike a few more inches above the still rising tide. “Shut up.” He looked toward the rise of the embankment, hard to make out as thick clouds drifted over the full moon. “They’re going to find us any minute. Just stay awake. Think about all the baking Keiran’s going to do for you because he’ll be so relieved you’re okay. Fuck, I’d literally kill for some of his stew right now.”

Pike closed his eyes, letting out a soft moan. “That would be awesome. I’d even share, but only with you. Because you’re the best.” He snapped his eyes open as Avery gave him a hard shake. “I thought I’d hate you after everything that went down, but you’re...one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. Not just because you’re trying to save my life—”

“Not ‘trying’. I am going to get you out of this.” Avery shifted his grip under Pike’s arms. “Tell me something about you. Something...that no one else knows. If you’re talking, it’ll be easier not to give into the temptation to just...rest.”

Turning his head a bit, Pike held Avery’s gaze. The sub was tough, but he was still human and shit was...bad. Really bad. If he didn’t get out of the water soon, neither of them would make it. But one thing he did know about the other man was he wouldn’t give up until he was forced to.

And the person who could force him wasn’t here.

Nodding, Pike secured his free foot as solidly as he could so Avery didn’t have to fight against the tide so hard alone. He tilted his chin, avoiding the next wave. “Fine, but only if you do too.”

“Deal.” Avery lifted one hand, smoothing Pike’s hair back from where it had covered his eyes. “But you’d better make it good.”

Another nod, then Pike lifted his gaze to the slivers of the moon that shone through the gray clouds. “The longer I’m around the core, the more often I see Tracey and how she treats every single one of you like you’re special… I know my mother wasn’t like that. I don’t know if she really loved me, or if I was just...hers and not my father’s. Maybe that sounds stupid, but it helps a bit when I let myself think about it. She was…”

Even without closing his eyes, Pike could see her. Never a hair out of place, teeth gleaming white between lips that weren’t a harsh shade of red, but a shade that suited her...perfectly.

That was always the word he came back to when he thought of his mother.

Perfect.

A therapist would have a fucking field day with that.

“When I was little, all I could see was how perfect she was. Beautiful, always dressed in nice clothes that felt soft when she was close enough to touch. Compared to everyone else in my life then, she was the one person who cared about me, even if it was in the only way she knew how.” He let out a soft laugh. “When everyone else died and I was alone, I told myself she and my father suspected I was gay. And she accepted it. Even kinda liked it, because it meant she could share what she did love with someone.”

Avery grinned, his muscles tensing against Pike’s back. “I can see that. Having such a toxic asshole for a husband, she probably believed having a gay son meant you wouldn’t ever be like that.” His tone sobered. “And you’re not, but that was a choice you made. You could’ve gone the other way, it probably would’ve been easier.”

“It really would’ve been. But, like, I don’t think I’m a real good person or anything. I’m not the worst either. I got to meet my cousin and...he’s a good man.” Pike jerked as a wave hit him hard, turning his head as he fought to cough up the water and catch his breath. “A really good man. He deserves the amazing family he has now. That he shared y’all with me, even for a little bit? I’m real fucking grateful.”

“Don’t talk like that. We’re yours too and we’ll keep being yours after we get out of this.” Avery gave him a hard look. “Now it’s my turn. And I’m probably going to make you feel like shit, because my parents were awesome, even though they were mercs. If they hadn’t wanted out…” Pain filled his deep blue eyes. “I loved them so much. They made me believe I could do anything. The first time I worked with the silks, I was so scared to go too high. My dad tried to keep things light. He teased me about how much I liked climbing on everything, but I was scared of a bit of silk. My mom didn’t yell often, but she let him have it that day.”

A gust of wind, the clouds drifting away from the moon, and Avery’s damp, pale face practically glowed under the light. His eyes were a bit distant, his lips curving as though he’d gone back to relive the memory.

“My dad took my sisters to a big dinner the troupe was having to celebrate one show ending before we went back on the road. And my mom set up the silks and put on some music. She didn’t tell me to try again, she just started dancing and wrapping herself in them. Rising up, swinging and swaying, it was like watching magic unfold.” Avery met Pike’s eyes. “And I wanted to be a part of it. Once I got past my fear, it was...freeing. Even when I slipped, I’d catch myself because I’d see her, right there, ready to catch me if I fell, but believing I wouldn’t. And I still don’t. I screw up sometimes, but I don’t fall.”

Pike smiled, latching on to the last time he’d seen Avery on the silk back at The Asylum. It was always beautiful to watch, but after what Avery had told him, there was a whole nother level. Vision cloudy, he curved his fingers over Avery’s shoulder. “Don’t ever fall. She...she’d be so proud of you if she saw you now. I’m sorry you lost her. She sounds...like she was an amazing woman.”

“Pike, don’t. You have to keep fighting.” There was an edge of desperation to Avery’s voice, even as everything went dark. A brokenness Pike wished he’d never had to hear, but at least the other sub still had the strength to shake him. He’d be able to make it to the shore.

And knowing that...felt good.

This man, someone who’d stood by him in a way he’d never believed anyone would?

He deserved to get past this. Continue living and flying high in the silks.

Knowing he’d done everything he could for someone he hardly knew. Survive this with no regrets.

So long as he survived...Pike could deal with that.